Google is your friend Google. Yes, get used to it. GOOGLE. GOOGLE is your friend. GOOGLE can help you with your planning. We're not a fucking travel agent, so GOOGLE THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR TRAVEL PLAN! I'm serious. You want to know how to get from Kuala Lumpur to Bangkok?Google the damn thing, it's very easy, just type your start and end destinations. Want to know how to get from the ferry terminal to the bus stop? Google map is a marvelous invention. GODDAMNIT GOOGLE THEM! Why should I fucking help you when you don't even TRY to google?! I've given all the links that you would ever needed (maps with coordinates, bus schedules and routes, itineraries) and you still ASK AGAIN?! If they're not enough, then GOOGLE! There are so many backpackers and travel forums out there that can help you, DAMNIT! GOOGLE!

I've never met my father and from what my mum told me he was really mean. I am normally a nice girl, I'm shy and a bit anti social (though it was worse when I was younger) in the sense that I prefer hanging out by myself and staying at home than going outside or being with anyone else. But sometimes I feel like being mean. I do restrain it because I know I'll get in trouble and considering my reputation at school if I lose my friends then I'll suffer (when we have to work in pairs), it's already at a point that they only choose me if none of their other friends are there (It's my fault, I only talk to them that much in class anyway) so if I do something mean to them they'll all start ignoring me. I think I got that mean streak from my father because even before I knew about him I felt like this. Every time one of my friends has a secret, I wanna know, which is natural but when I do I just feel like telling everyone or a specific person if it's a crush or similar. I did this once before where my friend told me she liked a guy and I told this girl in Maths and the guy also sat on our table so he heard it. He thought it was a joke and after that he knew she wasn't joking. My friend found out but forgave me and said if I ever do it again she hate me. A part of me was happy she gave me another chance because I already ruined it for her by the guy knowing (and it not being a joke like he thought) and I felt sick at having those thoughts. I used to do it a lot in primary school and I loved it because even though I got told off I was never seriously reprimanded by my mum. I hate it now because I can't get away with any of that, those were my thoughts at the start of secondary school. Believe me, it's not something that I proud of. It's like those shows where there's the angel and the devil. When I get like this I take pleasure in seeing the people close to me suffer, my friends. Never my family. It's wrong and I know I should do therapy or something but my mum would never take me seriously as I didn't grow up influenced by my father and I don't want to lose this part of me. I like it. And that's what scares me the most.

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