i once committed suicide but i didn't die they saved me

My eating disorder ruined my life I end all of my relationships in fear someone will know how sick I really am. I dropped out of college because I didn't feel skinny enough to expose myself around campus. I spend 90% of the day thinking about how much I hate myself, and how badly I'd like to kill myself with the only thing holding me back being fear of the unknown. 10 years of my life...

My eating disorder ruined my life I end all of my relationships in fear someone will know how sick I...

Dressing room Exhibitionist My boyfriend likes to watch me topless or nude with the curtain in dressing rooms slightly pulled back .. Which is hard to find,,they all seem to have doors now . . My favorite time lasted a long time .. We went to this new mall about an hour away..its huge .. went to many stores,finally found one with curtained dressing rooms, I grabbed a few bikinis to try on , went in the dressing room,curtain pulled back just enough for my boyfriend to see , stripped ..looked at myself in the mirror so he had a good public nude view of me,then started trying on the bikini's . I put one on the side I was going to buy,and tried the others on as a show for him ..I took off the top,my nipples hard from the excitement ,glanced to him,and it was someone else ,,looking right at my t*** ..they are small,but nice and firm,,I felt an electric shock go right to my p****,he never noticed i looked his way..Im thinking wtf now,I put another top on,looked at it in the mirror,and noticed this guy is still there,So i figured,,wth,he dont know me.so i took off the top,turned very slightly toward the curtain to look at my side,pushing my t*** out to give him a great view,then pulled off the bottoms,,stood there naked,I could see and feel him looking me up and down,,I loved it..I was wet ,, then i got dressed,when i walked out,he was gone,and my boyfriend was looking at shorts,,what a great time..this is all 100% true

Dressing room Exhibitionist My boyfriend likes to watch me topless or nude with the curtain in dress...

Deeply ashamed The past two years have been incredibly difficult. I'm married, but when I get drunk I want male attention, that's not my husbands. I can't read men's signals at all and have found out the hard way that I'm not as attractive as I thought I was. I messaged a man last night and he totally rejected me. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed and scared that he will tell my husband. I'm such a giant f******. I've had emotional affairs and opportunities to physically cheat on my husband. But I haven't taken that step. I don't think I actually could. I think there's something inherently wrong with me. My husband is a great guy and I know he could do way better than me. I just hurt him and ruin him. I wish he'd leave me and find someone better. I feel like such an ungrateful, ugly b****.

Deeply ashamed The past two years have been incredibly difficult. I'm married, but when I get drunk ...