Last night I had nocturnal pollution (nocturnal emission). 4give me. Anoche tuve

Last night I had nocturnal pollution (nocturnal emission). 4give me. Anoche tuve poluciÃƒÂ³n nocturna (emisiÃƒÂ³n nocturna). PerdÃƒÂ³n.

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flutterly full of self loathing. I wish I weren't so needy and emotional, but I'm so dependent on others, yet a triangle being into the box of everyone's personal expectations. Now that sick people try to help them but my different drummer self is driving them up the wall.( My roommate pissed me off, so I scrubbed our sink with her toothbrush when I feel tis bad) I don't have any idea what I've done wrong many times, and when I do know what I've done to irritate them I can't be able to seem to fix it. It sucks. I hate myself for being a burden. I hate myself for being sick. I hate myself for disappointing loved ones. And when I try to conform just to not disappoint people who are trying to help me, I hate the falseness that I am, an utterly empty shell. Its not my. I'm watching in disgust from the sidelines. I wish I had worth in my life. The only worth I feel is that I've never abandoned my children no matter how sick I feel and I'm not leaving them motherless even if I am a semi-bad mother. For all the mistakes I make, I hope one day at least they know they have a mother who cared enough to try.

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