i used to love my cats and i hate them now. i can't look after them with their sicknesses and my illness anymore. I have grown to hate their laziness and won't earn a wage to keep themselves and expect me to do all the work and spending and worrying and one refuses to take his medications. he has been warned if he doesn't he will end up a ugly hated cat full of skin diseases and die on the street if he does pull his weight and take his tablets. afterall he could think of me and consider my feelings and pocket in the whole thing for god sake! I love them but i hate everything and them because I can't give love when I never got enough love myself. that is how i feel about life now. you are a nothing unless you work and earn money or your scum. homeless people are scum, that is how the real people of this world think and I have to take off the caring heart and put on the mean girl mode to survive. I am just surviving i don't have the luxuary of love and things and no bastard has bought me a diamond fucking ring the sons of sluts. i hope all men die in hell. i wish i had of told leigh what i was thinking really that night. "what all these ugly old bastards?" it was just politeness and social graces that made me say something socially acceptable otherwise i would have said "I have seen more night life in a old peoples home you spastic whore bitch!"