we received all these death threats in the mail with all these big photocopy a4 in a number of colours with weird pen markings and grim reapers and beware of this and that, and photographs of places i had been for interviews in oct 2000 it had me spooked and when i went to tell that stupid rapist he didn't want me talking about it. it had a lot of hate in it with graveyards and like it waas some very disgruntled editor of some newspaper, joyce took over and contacted this place that had the RPK intials all over it some printing company and if she had really cared she should have told her police husband and got proper help for me and listened.

we received all these death threats in the mail with all these big photocopy a4 in a number of colours with weird pen markings and grim reapers and beware of this and that, and photographs of places i had been for interviews in oct 2000 it had me spooked and when i went to tell that stupid rapist he didn't want me talking about it. it had a lot of hate in it with graveyards and like it waas some very disgruntled editor of some newspaper, joyce took over and contacted this place that had the RPK intials all over it some printing company and if she had really cared she should have told her police husband and got proper help for me and listened.
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just feeling like life is hopeless. was supposed to go out yesterday to a show and today to a show and I was so tired and I woke up with really bad back pain and I was thinking "Oh just go you will only ache in the back at home, why not ache in the back out for a while looking at other things meeting new people" but I was like "I have nothing to wear" I feel so ugly and fat and why should I bother, I said to mum I think I will get so fat I can only fit into a huge robe towel only and just watch every bitch who has abused me wear all my pretty clothes and self punishment and penance that the bayside family christain church said I had to go through penance for the abuse in my childhood. so I guess I have to set my punishment daily ! and I told my nephew/god son to never speak to me again cuz the publishing company from filiofuckoland kept calling every time I spoke to my nephew and this was offending and freaking me out. and I also told the churches and nuns "we won't be back I got the message about warbrokes bastard whore kid walking over me" and my resentment is as strong as ever towards the catholics at st mary;s ipswich and carmelites because silence never helped me and they were abusive to my father at their job network anyway. and I just feel the catholic church blantantly obviously let me down compared to their helping my sister and brother and I told them so!

just feeling like life is hopeless. was supposed to go out yesterday to a show and today to a show a...