All I've ever wanted is not to be. Being here is like a pain that never ends. A constant reminder that that one time you tried, you failed, and now you're too scared to fail again because of the pain you had the first time. You don't see the point in your life, nor do you want to. You don't care that we are all here because we're here. You just want to go. That's all you've wanted. That's all I've wanted. You have no friends. The only one you've got is your ex who you're still friends with and occasionally have sex with. It feels like, when together, nothing ever happened and you never broke up, but you remember. You remember you're actually, really alone. No one actually cares about you. Not your ex, not your family. You don't even really have family either because you don't fit it. You feel like it'll never end. Like there will never be something worth living for. You currently just live because you're too chicken to try again and fail. It is your natural instinct to live, after all.