all my parents do is argue all the time about filipinos ruining our lives.

i am sick of groups like aa alannon, asca all expect money to go to support group and where does the money go? it might not seem a lot by you pay out $5 for attending the meeting for room hire. raffle tickets and I can't afford their xmas dinner and parties and raffles, I can't even afford to have lunch with them and I don't like eating with people and like at the churches they over do this hugging non-sense. I do not want to be hugged by any or every man and woman. I don't mind an occasional hug but they want to kiss you on the cheek and its just a bother when I had a rash it hurt everytime someone wanted to hug me and i was like "look its not contagious but I don't want to be touched right now cuz it hurts" . i don't want old men hugging me either. i find it hard to go to aa etc for all the bible bashing shit they through at you. but strangely enough I enjoy doing readings and I occasionally talk about my own problems. I wish i could work in story narration or something. everything i want to do people tell me i can't do and i am sick of it. I should start doing that back to everyone i meet. see how they like it. i was told in pharmacy i don't have personality to do law and what a shame to hide away a lovely personality and friendliness like you with law and then i was told in other jobs - oh you won't be able to do that. its always the same. fuck i am sick of that. how about i go around putting everyone down around me telling them all what they can't do and see how they like it for 30 or 40 years. i pick at others faults now because for the last 45 years people picked on me so i do it to everyone now. even strangers.

i am sick of groups like aa alannon, asca all expect money to go to support group and where does the...

i used to love my cats and i hate them now. i can't look after them with their sicknesses and my illness anymore. I have grown to hate their laziness and won't earn a wage to keep themselves and expect me to do all the work and spending and worrying and one refuses to take his medications. he has been warned if he doesn't he will end up a ugly hated cat full of skin diseases and die on the street if he does pull his weight and take his tablets. afterall he could think of me and consider my feelings and pocket in the whole thing for god sake! I love them but i hate everything and them because I can't give love when I never got enough love myself. that is how i feel about life now. you are a nothing unless you work and earn money or your scum. homeless people are scum, that is how the real people of this world think and I have to take off the caring heart and put on the mean girl mode to survive. I am just surviving i don't have the luxuary of love and things and no bastard has bought me a diamond fucking ring the sons of sluts. i hope all men die in hell. i wish i had of told leigh what i was thinking really that night. "what all these ugly old bastards?" it was just politeness and social graces that made me say something socially acceptable otherwise i would have said "I have seen more night life in a old peoples home you spastic whore bitch!"

i used to love my cats and i hate them now. i can't look after them with their sicknesses and my ill...

special foods for allergy cats, special foods for this and that cats all costs money and i need a job cunts! you mongrel fucking dirty cunts of brisbane and your disgusting shit hole country full of losers.

special foods for allergy cats, special foods for this and that cats all costs money and i need a jo...