Its time to bring back the Crusaides - Lets liberate Europe from the blacks? or ourselves?

1999,2000, 2001 etc heaps of idiots were sending all that spam mail to me like germany dull melanie and rick using NLP brainwashing abuses to ruin my fathers business out of jealously. even these old fucking cunts like the M's and Elsa pissed me off the cunts were sending all this righteous condesnending noble pious rubbish to make me feel like I had no right expecting a career and husband and baby unlike them. oh they were allowed to want, expect and yet say if think when we have this we will be right, by marrying and having kids etc but it never works out, and it was almost like they were saying "oh well its up to your generation of losers to not marry because we are did and it didn't give us want we expected" well, excuse me didn't I have the right to expect as well. expect better then dog spit scum like ken a dirty fat scumbag I was too good for!!!! he was never in my dreams or what my life was ment to be, there was another story I had in my head for me and if people don't like that tough luck. we have the right to expect and want and if your allowed kids that didn't make like up to your life too bad your kids were spastic. elsas son was a retarted spastic who the world felt pity for. all of you were below my standards I was streets ahead of you scum, I was better and clever then you joyce poorter and you murdered me. yeh that is right you never allowed me to tell my story at the right time. I did nothing to that cunt spoilt mongrel bitch diana, that selfish selfish bitch who took me down. I was looking for men to like me and it was always the wrong ones liking me who were shit. they were deadbeat uneducated fools and talked shit all the time and acted stupid. women don't tolerate that for long. I had no one to guild me in the right direction as a real older sister would. I never had the benefit of a older sister who loved me or who wanted the best for me, I never had a mother who was tall enough to fight down idiots that were pushed into our lives who used our family. I made mistakes trusting wrong people. I had a right to want marriage and baby and career and I had the right to want better then ken, I had the right to say no to dogfaced leigh morris. she should have yelled at and told ' NO SHE CAN'T COME TONIGHT LAST MINUTES NOTICE TO SOME NOTHING PARTY THAT WAS NOT MUCH OF A PARTY, SHE IS SICK AND TAKEN MEDICATION AND DOCTOR SAID SHE CAN'T GO OUT" Leigh had already set up her dirty game and I was so naive and dumb, but I am not now. I resent william for abusing me and how he is ruined my family. i never ruined his family. they were being stupid and I disliked their reckless behavior that is what made me turn on people. when I seen ratbagery and people should be grateful they ever had 1 marriage, people should be grateful to have children. I am not grateful for being abused as child or being raped and treated like a fool by leigh and ken and all those scum with the rsl and navy. those people sicken me, the lowest of the low allowing rape on abused kids and women. your no heros to me you scum. I want nothing to do with relatives who wronged me. sue and elizabeth and louise and roslyn and karen all let me down and wronged me. they know they did they have to live with how they wronged me and wrecked my love life and the dreams i had as a teenager getting married and having a baby and working in a good career. you have to live with what you have done. so you wanted me to be the worst of everyone around me, I am the worse parts of doret, little dawnie, little joycie, little belle, the worst parts of everyone even diana but never allowed to be me. why is that? it makes no sense. so you had your fun now fuck off. and allow me to find love with someone who I really do love and its not you ken or frank or craig. you got to live up to a lot to be around me. my sister is an evil bitch who has never loved me, but you didn't have to help her to kill me off just to make her feel better when she got her special graduation and wedding day and baby and then another wedding day and then another wedding day and I have never had my special graduation or my special wedding day, and I am not taking your fucking shit anymore ! fuck off the lot of you.

1999,2000, 2001 etc heaps of idiots were sending all that spam mail to me like germany dull melanie ...

love marriage divorce, pity me, pity pity me so i can marry again and be pitied and loved and feel like a courageous fake and i can't be looking like i have something together, but keep pitying me with a sea of flowers til I die. is womens lives. that you have no right to have ideal relationship or life? but as if you ever could because you keep making the same mistakes over and over and over. I am sick of the typical game of womens schemas today. it makes no sense. and your not courageous you don't deserve pity your just a dangerous cunning fox who knows how to manipulate men for sex which does not equal real love.

love marriage divorce, pity me, pity pity me so i can marry again and be pitied and loved and feel l...

I have always been a person who worries about things, worrying about the future is always on my mind since a kid, its getting worse as a I mature but I seen a mag with nigella saying "you can't worry about the future" and ever since that is all I do. worrying when and how I will die and if I can even lose weight, my mother and other older women have more confidence in me losing weight this time then I do. I find my confidence in other things now over physical image. all the disappointments I have been through I just don't appreciate which has led to a very negative view of life and expectations, I know there is no man waiting for me. I know I will never know what it feels like to find true love. I knew that as a child and teen, that is why I never looked hard because when you are born with ugly face and ugly red hair few people like you naturally or spontaneously and you learn to hate people back, I made a mistake allowing myself to believe rick really did like me when all he was doing was setting me up to abuse me and see me raped - that was his and kateys plan for me. I know I will never know how it feels to wear a pretty wedding dress and marry or have a baby like all the other young brides in my family - cousins and aunties and 2nd cousins who all got married young and were fussed after by some seriously quality teen males and I never had that and I don't care anymore. I just don't care anymore. I will probably end up a old street bag lady homeless by the age of 50 living under bridges and sad lonely failure that no friend will care for. and I accept that this is what other people wanted for me, for my mother as well. the royal family all this time have been trying to kill me and I hve to say I hated diana that she had to do all that pining death scene and outdo werners suicide with people mourning after a whore who had affairs everywhere and regun said so and she is probably behind isis with that perfume. did you see that pinic picture of her and charles near a car that says on the rego number plate- I kll - well it says it all. I hate them all. their ugly new babies becausse as if any of the royals are beautiful people they ugly physically the queen was ugly all her kids are ugly and awful people, kate is a ugly slut, her mother is ugly so its only possible their kids are ugly and that goes across the board with the lot of them. they are all ugly dirty motherfucking scum ripping off the rest of us. they are stealing lives and I wouldn't envy anyone marrying them because they will be hated anyway. no one is going to like them but their own trash. I wanted to be married when I was 23 or earilier and if I want to spit hate at people I will. especially to that dog fucking lot at bayside family christain church who are satanic clarvoyants and evil sick people - your a very abusive church. one day your gonna pay for your drugs and sexual abuse on women. one day someone is gonna do you right over for what you all are. fakers. its not a church you can really marry in. they are all weirdos. they are blasphemists preaching and only a hand few can now but thousands of millions will see later what you really are.

I have always been a person who worries about things, worrying about the future is always on my mind...