I hate this dust bowl of a gin camp wild west Mississippi city I live in.

I find I don't feel like a great person around certain people, they don't make me feel good when I am with them at all. it has always felt like I have been the one having to put that extra mile in, the extra smile, the added extras to boast up other peoples ego or confidence or feelings of comfortability and being understanding and compassionate and giving compliments and consider others feelings but not many people retrun in kind! so I feel just so worn out giving and getting nothing back in return. I rarely get that effort back to what I put in with people, they don't give back all I need they I have given them. then they wonder why I am tired irritable and sad and depressed because they just over use me.

I find I don't feel like a great person around certain people, they don't make me feel good when I a...

the thing that came as a shock to me is just because someone is a doctor or ambulance person doesn't mean they don't have criminal intent in their actions to you. it took a lot for me to see this for myself. I used to have blind trust in doctors, my fave doctor who was a good doctor was Dr Frazer and he never ever once put me down for having depression or being sexually abused or that I couldn't afford medical bills all the time, unlike some other doctors. but there are not a lot of doctors around like him. I mean today they want you to come for 1 item per visit, when I used to see dr f he was like always following up on last visit and checking meds and seeing how it went even minor things always never once had to remind him to check BP or anything. I have not had as good a doctor as him since. he was a great doctor. but I don't have faith in medical people now after being bullied and abused by some. its not their place to abuse patients. if they want to do that go join the prison system or the death row prisoners in usa don't bother doing this job if you don't like actually caring about people who most times are afraid. some where out and out pig dirty rude to me, and I will never forget that feeling of betrayal. its not nice at all. you might think your funny and rich but there are richer clever and more handsome men out there then you. its like ken, he really thought he was something hot and he was so weak and cowardly he didn't even call medical aide or a fireman or police or someone when I collapsed. the guy is a loser user! or the worst kind said one police officer to me.

the thing that came as a shock to me is just because someone is a doctor or ambulance person doesn't...

my specialist said yana and other stupid people don't know what they are talking about when saying my antidepressants and calmatives are illegal drugs, because they are not illegal drugs. I don't shoot up or take illegal drugs and I am sick of this homocide against me. sick of it. I could murder the people who have done this to me. the police should do a mercy killings on my behalf to these torturers. I don't have to tolerate their senile stupid talk.

my specialist said yana and other stupid people don't know what they are talking about when saying ...