chris and pete used to sexually hurt me and hit me and bully me. they were bad kids. really bad. into drugs and violence.

chris and pete used to sexually hurt me and hit me and bully me. they were bad kids. really bad. into drugs and violence.

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I am in a lot of physical pain !

I am in a lot of physical pain !

I was really disappointed last week when I had no choice but to cancel going to a support group meeting. Because they are on the other side of town; everything seems to for over at logan or zillmere and mango hill and the redlands and manly areas are just being so neglected. yet fresh fruit and vegitables and most foods are cheaper down the gold coast then in the redlands and this area used to be a farming area. there is a lot of unemployment and silent suffering going on here. joblessness, and more assaults going on in transit locations and commute areas recently have sparked a lot of concerns for us in the area. tafe and courses so expensive now and they expect students to learn too much too soon and not enough social time during their course so its more enjoyable and easier for adults to finish. I am studying and struggling and I can't pick up work anywhere I have studied in. I just had to forgo the support group meeting because I would have to leave before 7am to get there by 10am and the area that its in is so dangerous worse then here. and here is bad enough. there is a lot of white unemployment. if tafe was the dumping grounds for the unemployable 30 years ago so what ? at least it gave them something better to do then plan break ins and assaults and stealing and other crime. why do I study? why do I bother at all? its never got me anywhere going to university. I made the choice to drop out without a single minor degree over a better larger degree and I don't regret it really. the tide had already turned against us white people here in australia anyway for hope of rights as a white woman. i can't find a white man or a white job or appropriate man or an inappropriate man for that matter as some old bagger once suggested to me. she was all of 80 and said "well if you can't find a quality appropriate man why not find a inappropriate man" and I said I tried that and that didn't work either years ago with a few men. most of them were inappropriate and I blame myself that I was not clever enough to see the future ahead of me more and should have been an asshole bitch like my relatives were. I was brainwashed by nuns. like someone said in a support group to me, "the nuns said to me, chris , we will either get a firm hold on you and you will turn to your faith and conform or you will run wild and rebellous" and she said to me her husband ended up in jail for fraud and she didn't want to go down that road herself, understandably so. i blame myself that I should have seen the future but i din't have a crystal ball but I should have.

I was really disappointed last week when I had no choice but to cancel going to a support group meet...

my mother was horrified when this old bagger said to me "well go find an inappropriate man" my mother was horrified and so was my dad. mind you so was i, that was when I realised i was out of date with the world when I thought more modestly and deliberately conservative compared to women much older then me. I had never learnt to be cheeky. the nuns never allowed that.

my mother was horrified when this old bagger said to me "well go find an inappropriate man" my mothe...