i have a headache, my mother is selfish she is happy with me being her little companion running around with her photoing but does she think about what would make me feel happy? she says she does want me to find a man but then why has she ruined so many opportunties for me? she agrees with me and the therapists that ken was all wrong for me, and I deserved to be treated better and have a better man then him. she just seems to want me to be like a child forever. she didn't help me find a man when I was younger like I see other mothers do, she is so lazy as a mother like that. she is not thinking of how I will cope when she dies or how lonely and unloved I feel needing a husband all these years as if this is normal to sleep in your mothers bed at 45. I don't even have a bedroom of my own nor does my older sister who sleeps on a couch futon I bought. she won't use the bed I bought. am I in the twilight zone here? how can people think this is all normal? joyce didn't know what the fuck hell she was doing cuz if she had of my life would have worked out right. I am only a failure all due to her dumb advice and bullshit. she had no idea what the fuck hell that spastic lunitic whore was doing. she was spastic. she is spastic. she didn't have the answers to her own life! she was sucking off vulnerable people. she never consered herself with what I wanted. no one at russos asked me "and what do you want out of a career and life ?" they had made up their mind to push me off to disability after they abused me into a disabled state!