I having sex with lots of boys befor the wedding, I

I put this under waste because I've wasted my life. Here it goes. I'm bad like really bad. But looking at me you would never know. People are catching on as my life falls apart. I've been living like a quadruple life I guess. I don't even know who I am anymore. I can't think of anything I like. I hate everything and everyone. I have no friends left, the women of my life cheated lied and stole the entire time I've known them. Most of my buddies too. Just users you know. I always offer too much and people gladly accept my generosity. I always try and help but it eventually becomes them being entirely dependent on me. Then they go and I've lost so much in them. I never see the fruits of my labours. Now I'm totally alone. And financially ruined. Relying on booze and drugs to feel better about the shitty person I am. I pray to god thanking him only, not asking for more. He still rewards me a lot. Gives me great opportunity and strength to conquer challenges. But I can't conquer myself. I want to end my life. Nobody would notice except the few leeches who still cling to my generosity. Everybody I've helped is doing great. I never took time to take care of myself, or set myself up better. My friends, wife, in laws, girlfriends, and associates have all benefitted greatly from my efforts but I'm fucked mentally physically and financially. I even still protect people after they betray me. Keep their secrets, bend to their requests. I'm going to blow my brains out. I hate this world, it's ruined anyway. Goodby you fucked up people. There's a good chance that there is someone in your life going through this who helped you a lot. I bet you won't even reach out to repay what's owed. Sick fucking society world wide.

I put this under waste because I've wasted my life. Here it goes. I'm bad like really bad. But loo...

The stupidity of jealous friendships... Ok so just because you had a crush on one of our mutual friends does NOT mean that you are entitled to be the only person ever who hangs out with her OR just get ridiculously jealous if I make plans with her. She and I do NOT rely on you to hold our friendship together, we can do things on our own. Think of all the times you two have had together... without even thinking about inviting me, and then you always tell me about how much fun you had with her.... wow, and now all I've done is SIT IN A LECTURE with her and you're all like "stop rubbing it in my face". OH MY DAYS. It's so ridiculously frustrating you have no idea. and I cant even get 9/10 on a really hard assignment without you being jealous... so I won't ever tell you good things about my life, so you don't get jealous. I won't ever hang out with mutual friends so you don't get jealous. Better now? Is your life back to the happy bubble where you're everyone's best friend and you're amazing and nobody can be better than you? stupid stupid argument. stupidddd.

The stupidity of jealous friendships... Ok so just because you had a crush on one of our mutual fri...

TANGINA MO TANGINA O TALAGA PAGOD NA PAGOD NA AKO ANG KAPAL NG MUKHA MO ..LYING CHEATING BITCH I HATE YOU I FUCKING HATE YOU FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU I HATE YOU SANA DI MO KAMI NILOLOKO ... NAKIT KA NAGSISINUNGALING .. MINAHAL MO BA AMI EVER HAHA SIGURO HINDI TANGINA MO

TANGINA MO TANGINA O TALAGA PAGOD NA PAGOD NA AKO ANG KAPAL NG MUKHA MO ..LYING CHEATING BITCH I HA...