im bad ..

i had sex with others when i kept a guy as a bf ...i didnt feel sorrry that time ...and whats bad is even now ... i dont think i did anything wrong ... he is older than me and i think he knew that ...im not so good gal ..he said : if u like someone else oneday ..please tell me ..i gonna be ok ,just promise me dont cheat me .. i was touched ..and i felt that i really liked him a lot . but yea maybe the truth is that : i like all guys around me ...i like getting them and then leaving them .. i like the guys who r not easy to get more than those who r really nice to me but easy to get ... i dated K on friday night ..we had a nice time at a club , and we had sex that night at his home he's a great sex partner ...but D is my bf ...and i dated him on saturday and when we went to a hotel he saw the mark sucked by K on my chest ... tho he just said :it looks a little like ...but he didnt say anything else or ask me .. he told me that he really loves me when we having sex and dinner i felt i doing something , i shouldnt hurt him ... but God i dont know how to stop ...
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we cheated on each other so much and regret is a vile creature. Never leave any regrets in your life. They eat you alive over time. twenty years ago I was 18 and met a guy and we got married after dating 4 months. But he was cheater and liar. I left him soon after we got married. But I have regretted it ever since but he was he is and I knew I deserved better. Its been years and I still could never love him after he had an affair with my sister and a few of her friends and I got photos of their gang bang sent to my facebook page I felt a complete fool infront of all our friends later. But before I left him I messed my life up bad with gambling and my job ment I had to do fifo stays before it was the in thing to do. I did a lot of dumb things during my pregnancies that would be toxic to any relationship. He told me he still loved me last year but I turned him down because he was drunk and back to his old tricks doing porn in vans that made me sick, number 1 he had a too short a dick that was boring to me, number 2 he lazy and never bothered to improve himself or our mix of friends other then the loosers at the pub and soccor clubs. My mistakes would ruin his life? but then his would sure ruin mine. I want him to be snappy even its w/o me. I have a current bf but in my heart, I don't love him. He knows this though, he tries to help me move forward and has a stable job which makes me more stable and I don't see the kids anyway now they are at boarding school which was the best thing no matter how much I resisted it and we argued over custody but boarding school won out and worked out best now we only see them alternate holidays. I try to get over my ex husband cheating me but I can't. Its a real contradiction that we fouled on each other. Now all that is left is regret and it is destroying my sanity but I have a new life and chance. and no more kids.

we cheated on each other so much and regret is a vile creature. Never leave any regrets in your life...