Vermillion Pt 2

Adultery Pride Envy Covetousness Love Lose of faith Prejudice Rape Worship satan

she seemed dressed in all of me stretched across my shame all the torment and the pain leaked through and covered me id do anything to have her to myself just to have her for myself now i dont know what to do i dont know what to do when she makes me sad she is everything to me the unrequited dream the song that no one sings the unattainable she's a myth that i have to beleive in all i need to make it real is one more reason i dont know what to do i dont know what to do when she makes me sad but i wont let this build this inside me i wont let this build up inside me a catch in my throat choke torn into pieces i wont no i dont want to be this but i wont let this build up inside me i wont let this build up inside me she isnt real i cant make her real she isnt real i cant make her real

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So much for "Best Friend" I am so sick of putting up with shit from my so-called "Best friend"! He constantly makes me feel like shit, uses me, asks me for things, and makes me feel like a fucking burden to him. And the other day i made a mistake, a big one albeit, but all the same. Background, I'm gay, he's straight, and very comfortable with his sexuality and it's never been a problem between us. We even kiss sometimes, just because I think that way he thinks he's doing something for me so he has something to hold over my head. Anyways, the other night I spent the night at his house, and i kissed him good night, and the confession is I don't know what happened/what i was thinking but i just didn't pull away. It wasn't a make out session or anything, and I certainly don't want him like that at all, but I just didn't pull away. And i apologized for it, and he didn't make a big deal out of it at all and we went on to have a great night. However, the next day, he told I made him ridiculously uncomfortable, and how he didn't want to be around me anymore. I have done so much for this bitch, he has a terrible home life, I have snuck him out of his house, he went without a job for a while, I fed him. I even filled his gas tank, so he could go see his ex-girlfriend 2 hours away. I even bought her fucking birthday gift for him. I have done nothing but love and help this guy, and then tonight he told me that he has been thinking that I have been using him for his body this entire time... like i was some manipulative rapist. I have had several boyfriends and multiple hook ups in our time, I'm far from sex hungry. I was raped as an 8 year old... and being compared to that monster... I've never been hit so hard. I hate him. And i regret loving him so much.

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Adultery Love Marriage

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