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I live with Carlo and Reba since I was 4 years

AbuseChildren abuseMaking someone UncomfortableEmbarrassingIgnoring privacy
I live with Carlo and Reba since I was 4 years old. I am 13 now and thier 2 kids are Nilsa who is 9 and Julio who is 11. When any of us get in trouble or are bad we get spanked. As long as I can remember they always made us get naked before they spanked us. They both speak english good but when carlo hollars at us he always speaks spanish. Carlo is my mothers cousin and my godfather. They spank us naked in front of each other most of the time. They even spank us like that in front of other relitives sometimes. When Carlo drinks a lot he spanks us for little things we do. He spanked Nilsa last week in front of me and Julio. He made her take all her clothes off in the kitchen and spanked her very hard. I know she was embarresed but not as much as i am becuse she doesn't hve any breasts yet. I don't think it is fair that i am spanked naked and think i am to old now for them to do that to me. i am always and always was shamed when i am spanked naked in front of Nilsa and Julio but many time was spanked that way in front of uncles and other cousins. I have seen Julio and Nilsa spanked naked many times and they have seen me naked and spanked many times. I have thought aboutrunning away but have nowhere to go. I try to be good all the time but sometimes i get in trouble and get spanked when i do. Carlo spanks us more than Reba does and hits us much longer and harder and both of them make us get naked. I have breasts now and hair growing and am so embarresed when I get spanked i just want to die somtimes. They don't understand how shameful it is for me now. it was even bad when i was littleler. I have begged them not to make me get naked but they just call me a kid. They don't care who is watching and don't know how it makes me upset. When Carlo drinks a lot it is even worse and he gets real mean with us. Three weeks ago i failed an algebra test very bad. Carlo got home late that day and it was after 8 oclock when Nilsa came in my room and said her dad wants me in the kitchen. When i got to the kitchen he was already hollaring at me in spanish. I knew he was drinking a lot as soon as i walked in the kitchen. I knew I was going to get spanked but when I looked around the room Reba, Nilsa and Julio were there but I never expected Rebas brother Hecter and his son Juan to be there. Jaun is the same age as Nilsa so I think he is 9 or 10. Carlo took off his belt and told me to take my clothes off as he just kept hollaring at me. I just stated crying and was trembling and shaking at the thought of being naked in front of all of them. Hecter had seen me naked one other time but i know Jaun never did. I was so scared I couldn't move and as he hollared at me he grabbed my hair and started pulling up my night shirt. When it was off and on the floor he held my hair and made me take off my panties. I was so shamed i just kept crying and he pulled me over his lap by my hair. I was almost out of my mind when he started spanking me with his hand i started to kick and scream. Reba got up and held my legs and I could see everyone looking at me. I was wiggleing so much my head was almost on the floor and he began to spank me with the belt. The pain was so bad i know i was screaming and begging him not to hit me anymore. When he finally stopped he just pushed me on the floor. I just layed there for a minute and could see Juan, Hecter and Julio looking at my breasts and vagina and god knows what else they saw when i was on Carlos lap. My whole face was wet with tears and when i got up i started for the steps but Carlo again grabbed my hair and started to hoolar at me in spanish again. I just stood their as he held my hair trying to cover myself with my hands. I could see Nilsa felt sorry for me by the sad look on her face but Juan, Hecter and even Julio were smiling and even laughing at me. When he let me go i started to run to the steps but Carlo made me come back and pick up my nightshirt and panties off the floor then I just ran as fast as I could to my room. A few days later I sat and talked to Carlo and Reba and Carlo wasn't drinking. I pleaded and begged them not to ever do that to me again in front of people. I told them how much they shamed me doing that and they finally promised only to spank me in private from now on. I just hope Carlo isn't lying to me and keeps his word. I am xtra carful to stay out of trouble and am studying harder everynight now and do all my homework.
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i grew up hating feeling fat most of my teens and youth and young adult life I would yoyo weight a lot, put it on, lose it and not understand why. most of it was simply food and exercise but not really arranging time for exercise or planing senible eating routines til I was in my late 20s after at university. I hated being fat being called the fat red head ugly shy loser bitch etc. old fat maid and more. a fat dog, witch by tv news reporters when I was just 24 and so shy I hardly talked to anyone and was a virgin til 29 so never talked about sex with friends ever and would walk away due to sexual assault that I was in denial about. i lost weight and wanted to stay thin and everyone wanted me fat again. especially when I didn't like the married fat short bald man who raped me. lets get something straight right now- who ever it is implying I gave my aunty mary cancer has to be the sickest bastard out. how can a child do that, no one told me i had cancer dr staplebum ! and dr webster calling me old. yeh, so just because I was fat and am now and said I hate being fat, and hated a fat married old man with tattoos raping me you all decide to abuse me, well how about you all get abused see how it feels. yeh, while fat and thin I even said "oh yeh I hate fat people" how many times have you heard fat people say that, or people will say that about church people, or tv shows, jeans and banks or snobs or druggies or gays or blacks or asians or richbie cars, or red heads or whatever, they will all say "oh yeh I hate red heads" but they are red, or "I hate this or that" but they are exactly what they say they hate. so what you want to hold that against me too, because I am human. oh, but its ok for you to be human and make mistakes, yeh, its ok for a married man to rape a 29 year old virgin who was sexually abused for decades by a dirty old man and felt so fat and ugly and hated but its not ok for me to be human and say something contradictory and sarcastic or make a mistakes as a child but your so forgiven because your a man well, who do you think you are? which is the greater crime here. excuse me! but I will get over it and live but will you'all?

i grew up hating feeling fat most of my teens and youth and young adult life I would yoyo weight a l...

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