Possibly the worst thing I've ever done

Anyone seen the movie “Flatliners”? As a kid, we teased a girl who later suicided. When I was 12-14, (seventh-eigth grade) there was a girl in our class who was generally unpopular. She was a bit shy and basically quite unattractive. I was also having social problems at the time, and our school was very cliquey - you were either “in” or “out”. I was on the borderline at that point. Anyway, at some point, probably in eigth grade, I made up the nickname “Frieda” for this girl. It was based on the Aussie movie “Puberty Blues” where there is a character called “Frieda the Moll” who is generally disliked but has sex with all the guys. I was being a smart-arse and trying to get myself ahead by treading on those weaker than me, which I know is despicable (there may have been an element of that even in the nickname - when you watch the movie, you feel a lot of sympathy for Frieda and despise those who mock her). Anyway, the most popular girl in the class picked up on the name and encouraged others to tease her with it. I didn’t do much of the teasing, but I certainly was reponsible in having coined the name. At the end of eighth grade the girl left our school. Her brother was in the year below us at our school, and I guess I heard of her now and again. It doesn’t seem she fared that much better socially at her new school. A couple of years later (at the end of tenth grade), we heard that she had jumped off a cliff. Most of us were overseas on a school trip, so we only got the details later when we came back. There were rumours that her Dad always gave her a hard time, calling her ugly and useless and perhaps physically abusing her. I have no way of knowing if that is in the least bit true. Because I was o/s, I missed the funeral etc. and I have always felt that I have at the very least some contributary responsibility to her death. I don’t actually expect forgiveness, as those I need to ask it from are her and her family, and because death is so final, forgiveness is not really an option. I guess I will just always feel terrible about this, and so I should.
20

Next post in 20s

Will redirect automatically

This confession was shared anonymously on i4giveu.com

More from 'Pride' category

this is something I don't understand with some women right. one day I was at the bus stop feeling sorry for myself after yet another job knock back and diagnosis of skin cancer and this old woman of about 67 came over to sit near me and said "how are you" and usually I would fake a positive outlook and say "oh yeh I am fine lalala" but I didn't this time and said "well actually I am feeling really hurt right now, I missed out on a job I put a lot of work into trying to get, i have skin cancer and no man and being called fat and ugly by relatives and I have no friends" and she told me "oh I am so like you, I don't have a man either but I get on with life" then proceeded to tell me she had been married 3 times and had 6 kids and 10 grandchildren and had owned a business etc, nothing like me at all. I never been married once never held down a full time job for long and can't find a man to save myself, I have no kids and I thought you are trying to make out you are like me? and she said "oh well I will be your friend" and never spoke to me ever again and infact has ignored me as if we never met other women have done that to me as well acted later as if we have never met. how neglecte they are yet have husbands and lovely weddings and kids and I used to look in the mirror and think "why is it never me asked out should I do all the asking and pursuing and pretentory characters of a shewolf or something?" why has it always been I have to compete for a mans love? why can't they just choose me first and only me! I see a lot of guys I would ask out and they would be literally my world but they just ignore me and treat me like a doormat and I don't know why when I am a very giving caring person. people have said things to me I never once would have and now I feel so hurt I say them to others why be alone in the hurt when you can share it around?

this is something I don't understand with some women right. one day I was at the bus stop feeling so...