Possibly the worst thing I've ever done

Anyone seen the movie “Flatliners”? As a kid, we teased a girl who later suicided. When I was 12-14, (seventh-eigth grade) there was a girl in our class who was generally unpopular. She was a bit shy and basically quite unattractive. I was also having social problems at the time, and our school was very cliquey - you were either “in” or “out”. I was on the borderline at that point. Anyway, at some point, probably in eigth grade, I made up the nickname “Frieda” for this girl. It was based on the Aussie movie “Puberty Blues” where there is a character called “Frieda the Moll” who is generally disliked but has sex with all the guys. I was being a smart-arse and trying to get myself ahead by treading on those weaker than me, which I know is despicable (there may have been an element of that even in the nickname - when you watch the movie, you feel a lot of sympathy for Frieda and despise those who mock her). Anyway, the most popular girl in the class picked up on the name and encouraged others to tease her with it. I didn’t do much of the teasing, but I certainly was reponsible in having coined the name. At the end of eighth grade the girl left our school. Her brother was in the year below us at our school, and I guess I heard of her now and again. It doesn’t seem she fared that much better socially at her new school. A couple of years later (at the end of tenth grade), we heard that she had jumped off a cliff. Most of us were overseas on a school trip, so we only got the details later when we came back. There were rumours that her Dad always gave her a hard time, calling her ugly and useless and perhaps physically abusing her. I have no way of knowing if that is in the least bit true. Because I was o/s, I missed the funeral etc. and I have always felt that I have at the very least some contributary responsibility to her death. I don’t actually expect forgiveness, as those I need to ask it from are her and her family, and because death is so final, forgiveness is not really an option. I guess I will just always feel terrible about this, and so I should.
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there are other doctors who were abusive to me, I have reported, dr luke while I am grateful for everything he did for me because I believe if I had stayed at wpt fam prac wang and ludwig were out to kill me. there is no excuse for their laziness for referals to specialists or for getting my patient records mixed up with another patient by a similiar name, my mum does not accept mistakes when she worked in magagement in govt you were not allowed to make mistakes. I have been to kind and too forgiving. that has been my mistake. dr l said some very nasty things to me that upset me, he said things like "don't ever think you can study medicine because you will never understand it" well I do some and I don't have an ambition to be a doctor I had other ambitions and seeing you insulted me and you were making out I was trying to con you into medical tests which is not true. I was advised to see another gp by another specialist so I am not a liar I had to start at the begining. as for dr l medical skills I am grateful but didn't get what he ment saying "what would it take to push me over" to me that paraphrased into "I would like to kill you how can I get away with it" at the time. and I was scared and then anna maria told me her story about how you got an erection while examining her after and abortion and I didn't know what to think she just told me and said "oh don't tell me you are seeing dr l" and asked me what I thought. well what could I say? only what I observed in basic terms. but yeh I was offended a few times. then there were other doctors as well I complained about a 2 local ents who were verbally rude to me. I don't take kindly to drs who should know better who are paid enough to not step out of line. I personally , I am not paid enough to trust anyone! there was he 2 neurosurgeons I complained about who were rude to me. and then there was a few in hospital, one fat slut german cow of a he/she butch bullying doctor was so rude to me, I thought 'wow it is true you can't tell the staff from the patients here", then there was another doctor who was rude to me at the local hospital and in the city and then a few slutty whorey nurses were rude to me actually abusing me about the population growth in the local area as if it was my personal fault. another nutter black nigar nurses 2 were whores that was clear what sluts they were and piggish rude women and a few paramedics I would hit over the head if I could get away with it who were in the wrong job! still there is no excuse for their rudeness towards me when I personally did nothing to them for the abuse to take place in the first place from my betters, shall we amuse them a little. anyway what ever your purpose for abuse its been noted and is never forgotten! and not forgiven! and never will you be forgiven! I am not the forgiving loving kind and you taught me that so you only have yourselves to blame!

there are other doctors who were abusive to me, I have reported, dr luke while I am grateful for eve...