Trying to get over things There's not really a category for this so I'm hitting other. Anyways to summarize in short: I did a lot of very bad things and feel guilty as hell. This might be really heavy for some of you guys but I'm not in a position right now where I can go to a therapist or seek psychiatric evaluation and things have been building up to the point where I feel that I need to dump it all out to someone. I can't talk about these things to my friends because I am so scared that it'd change their perception of me and they'd think I was disgusting or start to hate me. I really don't want to lose friends. Actual vent oh boy here we go,, When I was a lot younger //between 3-5 years ago// I got involved with a not good group of people. Basically a gang but not really. I was prompted to start doing bad things. I stole for the group of people I was with and got in a few fist fights. I ended up going home with bloody noses and black eyes for a while. I also ended up literally tied up I made and lost a LOT of friends during the time I was hanging out with the bad bunch. I was also friends with two other people at the same time who had nothing to do with the "gang". They were the kind who ditched me, yelled at me, hit me, manipulated me, and pulled my hair when I did nothing wrong. What really sucks is that I can barely remember most of it! All the fine details such as names, faces, and even what time of year it was aren't there at all. When I decided to stop putting up with the peer pressure and that I needed to get out before I ended up with more than bloody noses and black eyes I got a concussion. I told my friends I was leaving them and they threw me off a bridge into a deep rocky part of a creek, I hit my head and came inches within breaking my neck. Some girl who I can barely remember dragged me out and helped me back home. I can't remember what she looked like, what her name was, or what we did up to a certain point a few hours after I got thrown. She told me we should get revenge because I wasn't a part of the group any more and that they did me dirty. My stupid ass agreed and we took a GUN! aN ACTUAL G U N??? To one dudes house and threatened to shoot him. We shot a hole in his wall. I was going to actually try to shoot him and I'm so thankful I missed. We were kids when this happened too. It finally occurred to us that someone probably saw us and we ran to my house and some old man had followed us. My friend suggested we sneak out and actually kill something. I'll leave it vague here since we did kill something. She ended up crying really hard and I yelled at her and got so angry because she suggested it in the first place and she was the one buckling under pressure. I yelled at her and forced her to do it and I hate myself so mUCH. The only person found out we threatened to kill someone was the old man and I haven't seen him since then. I just really wishh I could apologize and say I'm sorry for not saying "No" and just know if she's okay or not now. And the fact that I went that far is so!! STUPID!!!! I WAS SO STUPID AND THE THINGS I DID HAVE STUCK WITH ME. IM STILL A VIOLENT PERSON LIKE I WAS BACK THEN BUT NOW I JUST DONT HAVE AS MANY OPPORTUNITIES TO ACT ON IT. I HATE MYSELF AND I THINK ILL ALWAYS BE GUILTY OVER IT. I DESERVE TO BE GUILTY OVEF IT,

I need to rant about my "friend" First of all this is going to be long. Second of all, we're technically still friends, but I say "friends" because I'm starting to get annoyed by her and………you'll see. Here's how we became friends: Two years ago, we were in the same class, but never talked. Then one day, these two guys were talking so much that the teacher had one of them switch seats with me. After that seat switch, I sat next to her for the rest of the year. So, we started chatting; little by little, day by day. Eventually, we were talking so much that the teacher would have to keep warning us to stop. We traded phone numbers and crushes and other secrets. End of the year, we were pretty close. When things started to change: One day, this annoying guy came up behind me, tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me. My friend over there likes you." and he pointed to his friend. I told my friend about this and we were laughing, but then she said, "They were probably joking. You know, considering who they are." I didn't think much of it until later that year (you'll see) Anyways, everything was fine for a good year. Little fact about me, I develop crushes for guys very easily and completely out of nowhere. So, I developed a crush that she liked the previous year. The past year, her crush started dating this girl, but when I started liking him, he was single. I told her about it, cause we're friends. She just sits there and then says, "I'm pretty sure he likes (girl name)." I sit there and I'm like…….okayyyyy. Like why would she say that? Yeah, after that she kept bringing it up if I brought him up. Then, she gets all excited and says "Hey, hey guess what?! (Crush name) asked out (girl name) today in class. Yeah! He……" and she continued on saying how he did it. I mean, that's not exactly what a friend should do right? It's like saying "Your crush likes another girl!" instead of, "I'm sorry. You're better than her. I don't know why he'd choose her," Anyways, I got over that. Then remember when I said that that guy told me his friend liked me? Something like that happened to her. And what does she say? "Oh yeah. So-and-so said that his friend liked me. I was just like 'Okay'. It was so weird." They were the same 'type' of guys. So those guys can't like me but they can like you? Mhmm okay. This year: She has gotten on my nerves a lot this year. She would complain about walking back to homeroom alone whenever I'd leave because the bell rings. Like get over it. Then she'll also talk about how she wished that we had more classes together. Yet, she texts her other friend during the ENTIRE time we're together. It irritates me soooo much! Why are you talking to someone else when we could be talking? One day, I bought a romper for her and she seemed to like it. I was happy that she was. SHE NEVER WORE IT AND INSTEAD BUYS ANOTHER ONE, AND WEARS THE NEW ONE. The least she could've done was say that she didn't like it and give it back. Then she buys four new shirts and asks which one I like. I was going to be mean and lie and choose the ugliest one, but I thought about it and didn't want the bad karma. So I was honest and what happens? She ignores my advice and wears the ugly ones. She also doesn't take losing well and likes to brag about winning games. Sometimes if I'm in the lead of a game, she won't finish the game and "forget that we were playing" and when she wins she likes to rub it in. Most recently: A few days ago she sends a text saying, "I have something to do this morning so if you wanna go hang with (other friend's name) that's fine." WTF?! "That's fine" If we were hanging out, I couldn't have my other friend (who she's also friends with) tag along with us? Oh and what was she doing that was sooooo important that morning? HANGING OUT WITH ANOTHER FRIEND. She could've at least said that she had to help her friend or something.

I need to rant about my "friend" First of all this is going to be long. Second of all, we're techn...

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if you're in a position to empower yourselves, never let anyone; degrade, humiliate, embarrass, violate, dehumanise, abuse and suppress you. I'm aware some people are unable to reinforce their human rights, due to restrictions placed upon them as a result of; individual circumstances, social environments, specific cultures, religions and so forth, but if you have that control over your life, never relinquish your human rights to anyone! If you're ever in a dangerous situation and overpowered physically, never relinquish; your heart, mind, strength of character, will power and soul. No one can take these attributes away from you, unless you willingly consent to! Remember, this world isn't a poisonous place, It's some individuals and collective groups, that are poisonous! They're are the one's who contaminate and infest our world!

if you're in a position to empower yourselves, never let anyone; degrade, humiliate, embarrass, viol...

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I was pregnant: Vicky (Indian college girl Hii I am vicky, a Indian girl. I was an ordinary girl who loved study and academics. I would reside in my college hostel as my house was far from my college. My friends/ roommate girls would often talk about s and bf n all. I would ignore such talk. I would be alone in my own world. I would hardly talk or rome with boys.. One day a boy named kshitij from my college started liking me.. soon he started speaking with me. At the beginning it was just classmates but soon we became gud friends. one day he proposed me. I refused it first time but accepted his proposal after few days.. soon we were in a relationship. We would often hear about other couples having s and spending nights in a room . My bf also asked me abut s but I refused it.. One day after having coffee, by bf took me on his room. as usual we started to talk then hug and smooch each other. But this time I could feel some change in his behavior. He started to touch my personal parts.. I removed his hand but again he would repeat the same. He started to kiss below my neck and soon on my cleavaged. I was not feeling comfortable but was also enjoying. . He removed by top and bra.. my b were open and he started to suck it..he gave a bite to my nipples.. n began ti press my b.. soon he went more down and started to remove my pant. I was feeling restless and refused. .but he started convincing me n telling stories abut other friends who had s.. he removed my pant and began to kiss my legs. he removed my panty. He could see my p**.. he started liking it. Soon he started fingering my p.. I was just moaning with pain n told him to stop.. soon he requested me to take off his clothes. I was not comfortable to take off his pant. He removed his pant and I could see his black erect p. He made me to catch it. I was feeling very shy. I just closed my eyes n holded his d*. It was hot.. he jst told me to m*** his p a little. .he applied some jell on it.. Soon he pulled my legs down but I jst refused from having s. I told him that we don't have condoms and its very dangerous. But he said kuch nahi hota and jst don't worry. Soon he inserted his black p on my p and started f it slowly. . I was just shouting and moaning loudly. . It was horribly paining at beginning. And I lost my virginity. . He started to f* me more deeper.. it went on for some time. In between he removed his p** out, that time I could see his precum in my p.. I again warned him but he was still desperate. I was also enjoying. . He again started to f* me.. in less time I experienced some hot thing in my p and my my bf started to moan loudly.. I understood that he is c in me.. n jst told him to get off me.... n jst pished him away.. but it was too late.. as soon as he removed his duck out of my p, I could see my p fully filled with sperms and dripping. . He saw at my p and said oh s*.. I was feeling afraid and angry. . He said sorry to me.. We had a huge fight after it.... After one month I had lost my periods and after a test I came to know that I am pregnant. . I told kshitij about this and again we had a fight. .our relationship was on edge of break. . I started eating pills and somehow stopped my pregnancy.

I was pregnant: Vicky (Indian college girl Hii I am vicky, a Indian girl. I was an ordinary girl wh...

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