My boyfriend, fiancé now, of two years and I are finally getting married next week, and although it should be one of, if not the, happiest days of my life, I'm also dreading it. The worst part is that it's partially my fault. I've been keeping the fact that I was physically abused by my parents as a child hidden from him for the entirety of our relationship. I have large, visible scars covering a large portion of my back and stomach, and I've been terrified of letting anybody, let alone him, see them. I dress extremely modestly as a result. We haven't had sex yet because I made up that I want to wait until we're married out of fear, so he hasn't really seen my stomach or back. I know he knows I'm hiding something from him, but I'm know he's just being tactful and considerate, as he hasn't really called me out on it and has been incredibly patient with this "quirk" of mine. I know that he's going to ask about it when he finally sees them, and I'm deathly afraid that I'll ruin our wedding night. I don't want to hide it anymore, though. I love him so much, and I want to be transparent. I guess I've always been and still am afraid that he'll be deterred by either my scars or my background or both. I know he's better than that, but I can't help myself. I feel like vomiting every time I think about showing and telling him. I know I should probably tell him beforehand, but I don't think I can bring myself to. Agh!Why am I not allowed to be happy?! I'm getting married to the love of my life

My boyfriend, fiancé now, of two years and I are finally getting married next week, and although it should be one of, if not the, happiest days of my life, I'm also dreading it. The worst part is that it's partially my fault. I've been keeping the fact that I was physically abused by my parents as a child hidden from him for the entirety of our relationship. I have large, visible scars covering a large portion of my back and stomach, and I've been terrified of letting anybody, let alone him, see them. I dress extremely modestly as a result. We haven't had sex yet because I made up that I want to wait until we're married out of fear, so he hasn't really seen my stomach or back. I know he knows I'm hiding something from him, but I'm know he's just being tactful and considerate, as he hasn't really called me out on it and has been incredibly patient with this "quirk" of mine. I know that he's going to ask about it when he finally sees them, and I'm deathly afraid that I'll ruin our wedding night. I don't want to hide it anymore, though. I love him so much, and I want to be transparent. I guess I've always been and still am afraid that he'll be deterred by either my scars or my background or both. I know he's better than that, but I can't help myself. I feel like vomiting every time I think about showing and telling him. I know I should probably tell him beforehand, but I don't think I can bring myself to. Agh!Why am I not allowed to be happy?! I'm getting married to the love of my life
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