Think twice.... if i could help i would i just think you should get some help. Even if it takes the life out of you, act happy infront of your family. Your not trying to kill yourself for them deep down in side your know you are trying to take the easy way out. Be a hero and take all the pain for your family and stick around to see your son have a better life than you because in suicide you'll only be handing down your pain to him.