I don't believe in love but ONLY GOD.

My grandparents don't share happy marriage.I glimpsed my grandma's crying for my grandfather's betray since I am a little girl.They often have quarrals till now although they are both nearly eighties. I ever had a very good friend during my childhood who we grow up together.I had very good sense on him although he was a stupid boy.He left me a perfume glass bottle as his token of trust when his family moved to another district when we were 14.He said he would come back to see me again some day as soon as he finished study. However, I lost his contact in a rainy day but still be waiting for his back. I didn't receive any of his letter or any call later on.And what makes me unconscious fear is that I always kept his present in my draw, one day I found the glass was broken without any rational reason.Isn't it coincidence? During my study in university, I met another boy who would like me to be his close friend but didn't mention girl friend such things. Considering we have much common sense, I dated with him once a week with a feeling of Plato's ture love. One day, I occasionaly heard that he was talking with his friends about his current girl friend but NOT ME.Suddendly, I felt hurt in my deep heart and almost faint. I called him but his answer was that'Doesn't it matter that I talk about love with both of you?' As a consequent, I left him without any reply and changed my address and phone number. I couldn't endure such psychological pain any more.... One year ago, I became a religious Christian. Not thinking of any past love and memories, I concentrate on my career and further study for master degree. I doubt the real love in reality because I watched unhappy marriage either my childhood friends or my relatives.I rather devote my soul and body to holy GOD than to a man whom I deeply loved. Just, sometimes, I feel a little lonely but peace facing the silent room and endless memories.