I have a small left testicle

... In a jar on my nightstand. It's not mine, I'm just borrowing it until I can afford my own. I don't think I'm gonna give it back :/

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Here it is...Oh. here i put it clearly... last summer i unintentionally stole one of my best friends boyfriends now we are married. while he was with me, and she was on a trip. during that trip she was.. how do i put this... destroyed. he never listened to her because he was too busy with me. no one cared. i felt like s* and i stil do feel like s. but thats not all. not even close. if you skip a bunch of the other normal(ish) teenager stuff that happend i was copeing alright. then, december 4th 2011 the same thing that destroyed her, almost destroyed me. if you catch my drift. that, of course was followed by harassment. ive never told anyone. and then recently, like some months or so ago can't give correct dates, i finally started talking to new guys again, thats when i met the guy im talking to now. his life is seriously f up. hes totally alone we broke it. most of his family is dead, and that leaves me and a few a* hes left with, who he has to take care of to make sure similar things dont happen to them. i could just fix the whole thing now, you know, if it wasnt for the 2 hour drive id have to make just to see him. if it wasnt for that gaping hole between us, his brother never would have commited suicide.(his brother and another one of my friends were really genuinely in love, but couldnt be together. it hurt his heart so badly it broke down, and he broke down with it.) its basically the same exact scenerio, except for im playing the role of his brother, and its scaring the s* out of me.im praying i can keep it together long enough for it to work out, assuming that it does. i dont know what ill do if it doesnt. im so lonely out here on my own. does anyone hear me? marriage sux and now pregnant alone.

Here it is...Oh. here i put it clearly... last summer i unintentionally stole one of my best friends...

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