I am significantly depressed wondering why men have rejected me, but its not going to make me want ken or russel or wayne or frank more. so its counter productive over all this whole experience has been just wastelands for me. when I could have been in a marriage with someone I genuinely love rather then abuse and raped by ugly fat loser scum like ken or having to tolerate eating with a slob yobo fat loser like russel who got kicked out of the army and we had nothing in common at all. same with wayne we had nothing in common, frank was too childish to be a man and I wanted someone stronger then him he reminded me of my cousin too much. I am sick of being unlucky in love and pushed around. I should start pushing other people around! I needed a husband a long time ago.