I have a tendancy to swear when I am super angery at everything, like I bottle it up for ages then I do a complete dumbie spit with life in everyway, like its "I want to through in this job, I am sick of study, f this and f that I nearly got run over due to this stupid b! giving me cheek who should know better. I can really express it at times. I don't feel bad being passionate about somethings and expressing myself rather then holding it all in, other times, I just hold everything in like after I was bashed or raped and I never expressed a feeling til I got home and cried alone and ranted and raved. like it took over 2 hours to get home before I told someone I was bashed or raped etc. it took years before I told an outside family member I was raped or molested, i held all that in for so long, covering it up for so long and I must have covered it up pretty well. I can't believe not one teacher didn't pick up something was not right the bruises from him hitting me or burn marks, the other things, the bed wetting and nightmares the sleep paralysis and night terrors and traumas I still go through and insomnia at times. the wacky creative rapid bouts and manic moments of love that disipates to zero nothing ...??? the stiff upper lip infront of everyone then behind closed doors a sigh and shrug off the world behind and scream now n then,
I have a tendancy to swear when I am super angery at everything, like I bottle it up for ages then I do a complete dumbie spit with life in everyway, like its "I want to through in this job, I am sick of study, f this and f that I nearly got run over due to this stupid b! giving me cheek who should know better. I can really express it at times. I don't feel bad being passionate about somethings and expressing myself rather then holding it all in, other times, I just hold everything in like after I was bashed or raped and I never expressed a feeling til I got home and cried alone and ranted and raved. like it took over 2 hours to get home before I told someone I was bashed or raped etc. it took years before I told an outside family member I was raped or molested, i held all that in for so long, covering it up for so long and I must have covered it up pretty well. I can't believe not one teacher didn't pick up something was not right the bruises from him hitting me or burn marks, the other things, the bed wetting and nightmares the sleep paralysis and night terrors and traumas I still go through and insomnia at times. the wacky creative rapid bouts and manic moments of love that disipates to zero nothing ...??? the stiff upper lip infront of everyone then behind closed doors a sigh and shrug off the world behind and scream now n then,