what I don't understand with anita is why didn't she just say "thankyou for offering to help with the sausage sizzles and fundraising but just keep doing the singing and if you don't want to do a solo (cuz there was heaps of better people then me who could have that was obvious) or I will place you where you won't feel uncomfortable on stage, when I did public speaking lessons my tutor worked with me to boast up my confidence to do my speach that I thought I could never do but I did, all anita had to say was a few nice words she should not have asked me over to her house and their childish non-sense they were going on with, they had already chosen their dash sponsors so why did she lie to me as some game? why not just be honest and open, and that was what I didn't like also about mary in the psychology. I will not lie about things, I never felt comfortable with ken and that whole situation I was pushed into by leigh and my mum and dad said "don't let that ever happen to you ever again" make it clear to people your not there to be abused not by dirty doctors or dirty priests who have some hidden agendas and fake hearts fake everything but their wallets and skull duggery. yeh anita gets help to write her music she supposedity makes it all to sound deliberately sickly fake "matey" bs! that she can not live up to as a human because she is so evil. but when you have a son of slut bastard useless ill moraled doctor or some other fake man in the middle of it you have trouble. at least anita can't say I didn't help her and her illness - my family have had spine abifita but that doesn't mean she has to be such a pig! there is a way of speaking to someone. she could have just said "I am sorry you are going through this, just keep coming to choir" she went on with all these lies about "I know some of you are having terrible abuse family problems but does she know how bad it is, how violent my sister and father and mother have been to me at times. she makes out she cares infront of people but she doesn't its all about ego and money with her. but like I said she can't say I didn't help her with royalty companions and compliements to their singing birdy! who is not so nice at all. a very nasty witch around a heap of bitches. that is why I complained in that receptionist whores ear because she has everything all these poeple have everything! I wish I could be so selfish.

what I don't understand with anita is why didn't she just say "thankyou for offering to help with the sausage sizzles and fundraising but just keep doing the singing and if you don't want to do a solo (cuz there was heaps of better people then me who could have that was obvious) or I will place you where you won't feel uncomfortable on stage, when I did public speaking lessons my tutor worked with me to boast up my confidence to do my speach that I thought I could never do but I did, all anita had to say was a few nice words she should not have asked me over to her house and their childish non-sense they were going on with, they had already chosen their dash sponsors so why did she lie to me as some game? why not just be honest and open, and that was what I didn't like also about mary in the psychology. I will not lie about things, I never felt comfortable with ken and that whole situation I was pushed into by leigh and my mum and dad said "don't let that ever happen to you ever again" make it clear to people your not there to be abused not by dirty doctors or dirty priests who have some hidden agendas and fake hearts fake everything but their wallets and skull duggery. yeh anita gets help to write her music she supposedity makes it all to sound deliberately sickly fake "matey" bs! that she can not live up to as a human because she is so evil. but when you have a son of slut bastard useless ill moraled doctor or some other fake man in the middle of it you have trouble. at least anita can't say I didn't help her and her illness - my family have had spine abifita but that doesn't mean she has to be such a pig! there is a way of speaking to someone. she could have just said "I am sorry you are going through this, just keep coming to choir" she went on with all these lies about "I know some of you are having terrible abuse family problems but does she know how bad it is, how violent my sister and father and mother have been to me at times. she makes out she cares infront of people but she doesn't its all about ego and money with her. but like I said she can't say I didn't help her with royalty companions and compliements to their singing birdy! who is not so nice at all. a very nasty witch around a heap of bitches. that is why I complained in that receptionist whores ear because she has everything all these poeple have everything! I wish I could be so selfish.
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so I defiantly went out today and bought some pink jeans and you make me fat one more time I am going to up and bloody murder a whole group of people starting with in my own house. I am sick of being everyones fat dog joke that can't find a husband when a nurse said to me the other day- from everything you have told me you been through with illness and rape and child sexual abuse for all those years and all your mother can do is expect you to sleep her bed clean her house have no friends or man, live like some pig and your father couldn't even been bothere to protect you from a pedo or these bashers, you been this pillar of strength for everyone around you and what about you? your 45 no kids, no husband, no job, no car no house never had a real boyfriend even fat shamed then thin shamed accused of being a gym junkie for 2 x a week light gentle exercise is not a ocd, and she said "you are a great person and don't like any one not any person convince you are shit and deserve to be abused or all this negative shit of joyce or rick or katy or ken or relatives, you're the one who has self sacrificed over and over watching and help people around you get dates and love and babies and when your sick who is there to help you? who is there to care for you when all your life you cared for others too dam much! your the one up worried about bills while your mother and father sleeps like a lamb" they aren't worried about who will care for them and when they are gone are they gonna care for you? you have to be selfish and make it clear to people you deserve a husband and a baby and get out of your way you mean business" and just attck them, bash them if you have to. these people abused you bashed you for no reason. they are to blame they should be made to fix the problem. " I never fucked up anyones like, I never went out of my way to ruin anyones like, sure I might have got angry and hurt and I am even more so today. my needs are not listened to and the nurse said I have to make people- so I will I will threated to murder and attack people if I have to. people did it to me so do it back!

so I defiantly went out today and bought some pink jeans and you make me fat one more time I am goin...

suddenly everything I ever wanted has passed me by... why did you have to be a heart breaker , and you were never what I wanted you to be,... that is my song, but for a church like a touch of love ministries to do all this lies at me saying for me to be fertile and get married to a nice young man, I thought fine, young ok-- 32-40 but not 12-14 is completely upsetting and offensive, here was my heart getting so excited at the idea of finding a love at last and having a baby. I can't afford a surrogate to have my babies. I am sick of this and I am sick of ricky martin and his brother that chef wanker manu abusing me, I don't want to know them now. I don't want to know all the people who let me down, I had to see people getting married having babies and getting sex and looking great, and all I got was raped by a fat loser and I don't even know what it feels like to orgasm with a mans dick in me let alone giving birth, its supposed to be a gift from god this incredible thing that a womans body can do give birth to another human being. there is some thing sick and evil about this society that abuses someone like me like this. sorry but I never loved russell I never loved wayne, I never liked or loved ken, I never loved frank I never loved allan, I never loved peter who was older then he was making out- no 2 ways about that, he was a bald fat loud opinionated slob like all the others, wrinkled man who looked 40 pretending to be 20something.

suddenly everything I ever wanted has passed me by... why did you have to be a heart breaker , and y...