I have commited adultery several times in my life, at looking

I have commited adultery several times in my life, at looking and thinking lustfully on girls and women, some of them even married, and masturbated on that. I'm deeply sorry and regretful for what I've done, I'm only 13 years old, beginning on the puberty and I grew up on a family of atheists, who blinded me of God's love to me and the rest of mankind. In fact, my family blinded me so much that I even question the existence of God.
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we cheated on each other so much and regret is a vile creature. Never leave any regrets in your life. They eat you alive over time. twenty years ago I was 18 and met a guy and we got married after dating 4 months. But he was cheater and liar. I left him soon after we got married. But I have regretted it ever since but he was he is and I knew I deserved better. Its been years and I still could never love him after he had an affair with my sister and a few of her friends and I got photos of their gang bang sent to my facebook page I felt a complete fool infront of all our friends later. But before I left him I messed my life up bad with gambling and my job ment I had to do fifo stays before it was the in thing to do. I did a lot of dumb things during my pregnancies that would be toxic to any relationship. He told me he still loved me last year but I turned him down because he was drunk and back to his old tricks doing porn in vans that made me sick, number 1 he had a too short a dick that was boring to me, number 2 he lazy and never bothered to improve himself or our mix of friends other then the loosers at the pub and soccor clubs. My mistakes would ruin his life? but then his would sure ruin mine. I want him to be snappy even its w/o me. I have a current bf but in my heart, I don't love him. He knows this though, he tries to help me move forward and has a stable job which makes me more stable and I don't see the kids anyway now they are at boarding school which was the best thing no matter how much I resisted it and we argued over custody but boarding school won out and worked out best now we only see them alternate holidays. I try to get over my ex husband cheating me but I can't. Its a real contradiction that we fouled on each other. Now all that is left is regret and it is destroying my sanity but I have a new life and chance. and no more kids.

we cheated on each other so much and regret is a vile creature. Never leave any regrets in your life...