I was at a formal party where my friend's friends and

I was at a formal party where my friend's friends and family were attending. I had a few too many drinks and according to friends, blacked out by the middle of the night. Somewhere in that time period, I had 10+ drinks, harassed my friend's boyfriend and brother, danced with her boyfriend's parents in a not so nice way, threw up on a friend's expensive shoes, threw up everywhere in the bathroom, threw up in my friend's car and had to get helped home by 3 friends. Somehow my friends talked the bartender out of calling 911, the caterers called her the next day and got bitched at for what I did. I got a nasty 24-hour hangover and 2 weeks worth of regret with a long list of people to apologize to.
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More from 'Abuse' category

I put this under waste because I've wasted my life. Here it goes. I'm bad like really bad. But looking at me you would never know. People are catching on as my life falls apart. I've been living like a quadruple life I guess. I don't even know who I am anymore. I can't think of anything I like. I hate everything and everyone. I have no friends left, the women of my life cheated lied and stole the entire time I've known them. Most of my buddies too. Just users you know. I always offer too much and people gladly accept my generosity. I always try and help but it eventually becomes them being entirely dependent on me. Then they go and I've lost so much in them. I never see the fruits of my labours. Now I'm totally alone. And financially ruined. Relying on booze and drugs to feel better about the shitty person I am. I pray to god thanking him only, not asking for more. He still rewards me a lot. Gives me great opportunity and strength to conquer challenges. But I can't conquer myself. I want to end my life. Nobody would notice except the few leeches who still cling to my generosity. Everybody I've helped is doing great. I never took time to take care of myself, or set myself up better. My friends, wife, in laws, girlfriends, and associates have all benefitted greatly from my efforts but I'm fucked mentally physically and financially. I even still protect people after they betray me. Keep their secrets, bend to their requests. I'm going to blow my brains out. I hate this world, it's ruined anyway. Goodby you fucked up people. There's a good chance that there is someone in your life going through this who helped you a lot. I bet you won't even reach out to repay what's owed. Sick fucking society world wide.

I put this under waste because I've wasted my life. Here it goes. I'm bad like really bad. But loo...