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last 24 hours has been a party indulging into coffee and custard and pavlova last night and iced buns for breakfast.

Abuse
last 24 hours has been a party indulging into coffee and custard and pavlova last night and iced buns for breakfast.
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wang said "don't worry about your illness, it will get better" being the expert on everything that he is- ?? - I said sure well I think I will find another doctor then, thankfully not all asians have your attitude. don't worry about having a clean house. don't worry about all the stuff like clothes and junk you buy piling up all around you so much you can't move in the house. I leave the house to avoid looking at the junk. all I need is a roof somewhere far away from the cold night air- oh wouldn't it be lovely! to have a nice clean house and a husband and someone to care about me, and give me a lot of me and love time! break even time, holiday time, over time pay packet, social time, I can't wait to meet so many people I am so sad and lonely, I want to meet so many people and shake their hand and I went to aged homes and held crying old mens hands and went away sad at night alone crying for them, and the disability people. fuck me life is a bucket of shit. when I am sick I can only really think of myself. my needs for once- my surviving cancer and desperate to have a baby- can men sense my desperateness to be free of a nutter like ken and find a husband and go on some cruises and holidays and meet fun new people. I want to meet lots of people and be liked. would that offend anyone? I want sex and love. I want a man to protect me and love me. I want a clean house and all my clothes and shoes and hats and bags and things in order, I want a big kitchen -I am sick of a pokey little peebox of a kitchen. I want a big garden and space to have fun outside without neighbors gwarking.

wang said "don't worry about your illness, it will get better" being the expert on everything that h...

PrideAbuseSex

I have a diary of all my appointments and events but after the news a few weeks ago about more skin cancer I just lost all focus on what was going on around me. forgot appointments and I go to see a skin cancer doctor a lot and I knew something was wrong for a long time. the gyno said the vaginal itch is definately not in my imagination. its embarasing and I just feel more persecuted and abused really. I did enough vaginal cutting on my self as self punishment as a child for the sexual abuse- this is just adding to the hurt and feelings of always being punished that somehow it was all my fault- but a therapist today told me its normal to go through this upset and fear. I have to do what ever treatment I can to heal and get better. I hate neddles I am scared of having to go through vaginal reconstructive surgery due to skin cancer and abnormal cells that showed up and I am just praying that it won't be so bad as all that or have to go that far. - what did I ever do to deserve all this? as a child of 4? what little girl of 4 looks for this abuse and neglect and harshness because I never did. I don't understand why I have never been really loved how I wanted to be loved. I wanted children and marriage so badly. I was just afraid to make a move fear of being attacked and bashed. I long to have a normal healthy sex life and love life, a love of my own! I don't understand what god does this to children? its making me question my faith and not that I could turn to satanism, I never could, even I used to laugh at some of those comedy things and other times I would cry because they actually werent funny for the real victims of it.

I have a diary of all my appointments and events but after the news a few weeks ago about more skin ...

PrideAbuseViolenceSex

I am going to ask my mum to come in the surgery room with me when I have this done. only cuz I want to know what and where they are cutting- they are my genitals. I don't want to give my private parts to perranas and I have had enough of dumb things that have near killed me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJNR2EpS0jw

I am going to ask my mum to come in the surgery room with me when I have this done. only cuz I want ...

PrideAbuseHateViolence