my aunty roslyn has placed me into a difficult situation she is always running her daughter down to me all the time. saying "she doesn't deserve a cruise or lunch" she doesn't deserve and i could tell you stuff that would shock you, I said I don't think I really want to know. gossip is just bad vibes. I just want my cousin to know that i am not hating on her. I did ask her to those things and ment well. sure she probably does hate me more then i know. I am sure they all hate me. everyone hates on me just out of bordom. but i don't have a problem with julie coming at all. I am just sick of being told how to feel and how to think and what to do by everybody and then my aunty rings upset all the time. I might have studied some bits of psychology but I am not being paid to be a therapist or counselor or life coach. I am a nothing. I can't even pick up a part time job or a decent man. and I am sick of all these old farts pushed on me like at support group who are just creepy old and you know what. I don't even believe most mens stories now. all men really are liars. I am sick of them hugging and groping at me and I dont want to be hugged by old men or women. I am not a leso and from the age of 3 my father was always forcing me to hug dirty old men I didn't know and expecting me to be mad over them just because he was. men have no idea of love and what women want. most of them are hopeless at sex too. I just want karen to know I don't hate her. Robert and Karen were always well behaved at our house, apart from the time robert set off that house trick with the soft drink bottle that actually was sort of funny but silly. the way it hit the car and he didnt even mean to do it delierately. I mean it was dangerous but it was funny also. no one could time it that well. I am just sick of people telling how to feel , how to think, what to do. and no one considers my feelings and I think I have been extremely liniant and fair with people but had enough of everybody. I really have had enough from stupid colleges and ugly violent explosive neighbors and I know I have to move soon. I have to leave this town soon alone even. I want to leave this place. It has given me nothing but suffering and pain. there has been no enjoyment for decades and I can't take life here anymore. Brisbane has given me nothing but hate. so I hate it back. this hell hole dump of a awful town full of old crows of women. old whores at my baby shows stealing my share of life. everyone has been taking my share in life here and I am sick of it. sick of the place the people. everything.

industry business side of things, and getting the finance to fund paying the book companies and their strict guidelines, I sent off 2 book concepts one was called "Pembroke the fairy possum and the sugar plum trail" and another was an activity book called "Love Love Love, then 10 other things" where children make a mobile with affirmations on it and write in the book. but companies like penguin's subsidiary called xlibris Publishing really liked the work, as did a few other companies like Dark Horse and hayhouse and a few others, they basically want you do pay about $800 per month to do a course step by step publishing and some basic and small number of illustrations and promotions and promise if you pay about $4000-$8000 they can guarantee you promotional postures and for the book to always have a copy on the shelves and distributed, but to me this is really a form of Vanity publishing where you pay and they will publish almost anything even if its garbage. so far no professional or student illustrators have been interesting in doing the drawings for me and I suggested halfing the income amount for good work, I made it clear I wanted the Pembroke possum story to look similar to "Guess how much I love you" with a small plush toy and the possibility of a series and also. I showed a few friends for their opinion and most were positive but I really don't like showing professional illustrators or friends the work as I feel they could steal it on me and seek the rewards for themselves because I have had a few people do this to me stealing story concept ideas on me and its very upsetting when they do this. because I was sexually abused as a child people literally do not want to work with me and put me down saying I am "an undesireable" and they don't want to be associated to that sort of person which was very hurtful from one illistrator and also when I approached the qld wildlife protection association for funding or promotional support they wanted money from me and were exploiting me when the aim is to help save an indangered species as well as make a story which is based on real life experience, then when I showed 2 ladies Emma Lee and Sally Griffin from Nutrimetics they were trying to take over and come up with their possum stories to out do me and their illistrator friend did not want to help me at all and I felt very betrayed because someone else did this to me with a version of "the "philosopher and his magic stone" I had started writing as a childs story after a dream about a toad and I found this toad meaning in a dream book and just thouhgt it was a great inspiration for a story. people often have stolen my basic outlines of stories I wrote a book on magic sword and fairies with powers with a character called Jeopardy and someone stole that, another story called "Not me!" and its really hard to trust, people say show your friends get their opinion and they cheat you, its not funny. I get inspiration from videos or dreams or phrases or pictures and art or personal stories hand down in the family and I have been working on a few and one with my mum for the last 20 years we did some drawings and we leave it and come back to it but we feel a bit stupid because we are novices but my mum has been with writers groups and some work locally published and I have at university and did some literature studies at university but I don't have confidence in myself anymore" my mum and I would love to put together a qld flower photo book and I did consider using photos rather then drawing or just doing basic child drawings rather then some Beatrix potter magnificence" it is the money holding people back, because my dad was asked to write a storybook for the birkdale school reunion and the cost was just too much for the committee. I honestly assumed that the publishing companies print the books at their own expense and they get a cut as well as author and artist once its promoted I didn't know you have to pay them to publish your work. what is upsetting is went you see gross books with rubbish like "why snot is green" for kids and yet I have made some lovely children's stories with some bible verse and morals to the tale and its just ignored because I don't have the money upfront or even monthly to give these rich publishing companies. and all the publishing firms are extreme hard sell with pushy controlling and rude american /Filipinos you can't understand well, they can't understand why I am on a disability pension and can't afford to give them $2,000 a month for 16 months , (penguin is a Filipino company) and I would prefer the money to stay within Australia or with a good firm. I felt ripped off a number of times over childrens stories I was working on and there are some I will never show anyone. I don't write shit like other idiots do. what annoys me the most is a lot of people don't take you seriously enough as well they just think your a kiddy doing play writing but it is a process and most people usually want to exploit you and steal from you and make out they can do better. you get afraid to ask if you can borrow ideas you are inspired by. like just a picture or that they will attack you for copyright over a freaking name of a character you choose and your friends are usally out to knock you down and destroy your dreams that is true. they will call you dumb for bothering, and I get angry because my doctor want s me to the drawing s and I just do not have confidence in my art abilities anymore compared to when I was a teen I could sit down and draw for fun now its a bother. even with computer drawing or free hand with old style which I like more but I was not a grand achiever so why would things change now anyway. even if I had a kids story half fucking sellable people won't buy the bloody thing and I won't look to do this sort of shit again. ever again. I gave them about 4 or more stories and threw them in the bin after because it might as well be someone else work because mind is never good enough anyway and why would it be?

industry business side of things, and getting the finance to fund paying the book companies and the...

Abuse Hate

and please not infront of the children talking that blood guts jesus talk it is disturbing to the children. really so bloody and brutal people don't want to be upset with that talk. its abusive!

and please not infront of the children talking that blood guts jesus talk it is disturbing to the ch...

Abuse

I would like to know who this bunnypoeta person is. they forced me to what they call "fight" and it was abusive to me, they made threats of assault at me. this person deserves to die for settting me up to put things up on the internet to defend my situation of being raped and abused as a child and they wronged me. this bunnypoeta has wronged me badly. they made no sense and I did what I did out of fear and duress and police said I am not to blame and therefore I didn't break the law, because bunnypoeta was forcing me to things I didn't want to do. they are a nutter and should be killed. they were not helping me they were abusing me. I want them dead for trying to kill me. he threated to kill me if I did or didn't do what he wanted. I want him to pay for it.

I would like to know who this bunnypoeta person is. they forced me to what they call "fight" and it ...

Abuse Hate

More from 'Abuse' category

and please not infront of the children talking that blood guts jesus talk it is disturbing to the children. really so bloody and brutal people don't want to be upset with that talk. its abusive!