this year I have put a bit of work into the garden to have a bit of an enchanted garden, we bought fairys and made a mushroom garden and I am looking up things on youtube to make more mushrooms and fairy garden things. I love the crystals and the shells and my mum made some fairy doors and the weather has been hot but kind enough to offer some rain which has made the japanese garden with the japanese bridge look so pretty and smell lovely. and we put up a new archway as well and it makes a really pretty party area for a little girl and I have been collecting little girl party things for ages now, I guess deep down I have always wanted a child of my own and I have bought little girls and boys things for babies over the time apart from other things. I just wish I could find a suitable husband who will protect me and appreciate me... like I only feel alive and a real person when I am out shopping or dining out and wearing nice clothes like bewitched I bought and I so much want to wear them. I only feel real when I am exercising to a complete wet sweat to music and I might have been a gym junky but it was only mild gym anyway it was not full impact and i only felt real and alive when I was thin. people don't understand that and how lonely it has been and how the people who abused me can't fill that now. only loving new people with a good heart can fill that for me now. I spent new year doing a pedicure and massage on me and my mum and facial and arm and hand massage. I bought a massage table to do facials on people and massage or reflexology but I have nowhere to go yet and all my furniture most of it is 2nd hand or new french louix look or a mixture and I bought it because I can't keep waiting around for a husband just waiting and waiting while my parents needed new furniture the other stuff was 2nd hand and old and damaged and we had had it for like nearly 40 years. I want to move from here. I want to do a kitchen downstairs so we have more room. this stalker who is a coward gutless loser is the one enjoying seeing the suffering of a whole family. doesn't that say something about a son of a whore bitch like that. and my mothe was never in a porn film you have the wrong person. i can't see that my mother would have had the time for that while managing 3 govt depts when she was just 18. you can't trust me because I am with the cops. I am one of them. I don't tell many people that but i am...