my mother is using me. she is taking my money and not honoring me.

there is a deep loneliness and sadness in my life that is so painful. I cover it a lot but its there all the same. my life doesn't feel complete without a husband and children so don't even bother trying to convince me it should be complete when society does treat you differently if you don't and I always wanted to marry and have children and heaps of women still do that and have careers so stop selling me your pscyho-mumbo-jumbo lies.

there is a deep loneliness and sadness in my life that is so painful. I cover it a lot but its there...

I already have 2 dresses I could use in a portfolio as bridal and a small birdcage veil and lace piece. I have a satin white and gold evening dress never worn and a long victorian lace white dress for a boho style. I want to buy prettier veils - I mean if I was getting married for real I would want prettier dress and veil myself. I have a few posies and brooch boquets I collect so many things in case I need them. as if I would be invited out to wear the pretty 1950s things I have. I have no friends to be models for me or fake brides and I don't want to put make up on other people anyway. why should I make others look pretty when everyone made me feel so depressed and ugly and stopped me from getting married all these years. i mean anyway, if I ever get a portfolio of make overs together anyway, like all my projects half done!

I already have 2 dresses I could use in a portfolio as bridal and a small birdcage veil and lace pie...

I just had a green and red lettuce with brown fig and carrot and salad onion, chopped celery and salmon salad and I wish I had of put some chopped walnuts on the fig but I added a little cider vinegar and just had water and a diet shake, I only have diet shakes on rare occasions because literally all my nutritian teachers in my associate degree have said they don't recomend diet shakes at all for weight loss or nutritional maintainance alone.

I just had a green and red lettuce with brown fig and carrot and salad onion, chopped celery and sal...