so I have fucked off another surgeon I think I he is a good doctor and surgeon obviously done more study then I could be bothered doing but just upsetting me, so i feel upset because I need to rely on my doctors to be responsible and sensitive to my needs and feelings and health, its a brain thing .... you feel the sinuses (blood veins etc) in your brain going crazy its scary! one day I might even cry about it all the fear I was living in and I hugged this girl who had to have brain surgery she just reminded me of me I could see the fear in her face and I dont think I could cope with brain surgery too quickly if ever, like heart surgery - the aim is to avoid it because prevention is better then the cure.