I Spilt beer

she is so forgetful all she wants to do is go shopping she leaves purses and food at checkouts and is so forgetful. she is 74 and its becoming beyond annoying. she sickens me her farts stick, the way she eats yogurt literally makes me sick. eating with her mouth open and doing things she never used to do you can tell the brain is going at times. and all the doctor wangle could say was "just keep shopping" like don't worry about the house or fixing it, don't worry about study and a career, don't worry about money and bills where will the money come from? don't worry about a clean house or a good holiday, just keep buying her silly $2 tshirts and rubbish. she could cut back a lot of spending and save for a holiday. I want her to cut back n buy all cheap healthy food and save for holiday and cleaning the house... someone get it through to her! why can't my parents get jobs at 70 anyway? other people have had to.

she is so forgetful all she wants to do is go shopping she leaves purses and food at checkouts and i...

wang said "don't worry about your illness, it will get better" being the expert on everything that he is- ?? - I said sure well I think I will find another doctor then, thankfully not all asians have your attitude. don't worry about having a clean house. don't worry about all the stuff like clothes and junk you buy piling up all around you so much you can't move in the house. I leave the house to avoid looking at the junk. all I need is a roof somewhere far away from the cold night air- oh wouldn't it be lovely! to have a nice clean house and a husband and someone to care about me, and give me a lot of me and love time! break even time, holiday time, over time pay packet, social time, I can't wait to meet so many people I am so sad and lonely, I want to meet so many people and shake their hand and I went to aged homes and held crying old mens hands and went away sad at night alone crying for them, and the disability people. fuck me life is a bucket of shit. when I am sick I can only really think of myself. my needs for once- my surviving cancer and desperate to have a baby- can men sense my desperateness to be free of a nutter like ken and find a husband and go on some cruises and holidays and meet fun new people. I want to meet lots of people and be liked. would that offend anyone? I want sex and love. I want a man to protect me and love me. I want a clean house and all my clothes and shoes and hats and bags and things in order, I want a big kitchen -I am sick of a pokey little peebox of a kitchen. I want a big garden and space to have fun outside without neighbors gwarking.

wang said "don't worry about your illness, it will get better" being the expert on everything that h...

I have a diary of all my appointments and events but after the news a few weeks ago about more skin cancer I just lost all focus on what was going on around me. forgot appointments and I go to see a skin cancer doctor a lot and I knew something was wrong for a long time. the gyno said the vaginal itch is definately not in my imagination. its embarasing and I just feel more persecuted and abused really. I did enough vaginal cutting on my self as self punishment as a child for the sexual abuse- this is just adding to the hurt and feelings of always being punished that somehow it was all my fault- but a therapist today told me its normal to go through this upset and fear. I have to do what ever treatment I can to heal and get better. I hate neddles I am scared of having to go through vaginal reconstructive surgery due to skin cancer and abnormal cells that showed up and I am just praying that it won't be so bad as all that or have to go that far. - what did I ever do to deserve all this? as a child of 4? what little girl of 4 looks for this abuse and neglect and harshness because I never did. I don't understand why I have never been really loved how I wanted to be loved. I wanted children and marriage so badly. I was just afraid to make a move fear of being attacked and bashed. I long to have a normal healthy sex life and love life, a love of my own! I don't understand what god does this to children? its making me question my faith and not that I could turn to satanism, I never could, even I used to laugh at some of those comedy things and other times I would cry because they actually werent funny for the real victims of it.

I have a diary of all my appointments and events but after the news a few weeks ago about more skin ...