My Nurses look at my pitiful and usually have full erection without me having any feeling or ability to e********. They can tell me that my feelings are normal, but most of them really don't know they are doing to me in my head. Yes, I am a sinner trying to battle my inner challenges but I can see on their faces how they enjoy my condition sometimes and even are blushing and privately laughing at my throbbing c*** as their eyes focus on my genitals.. One of them even said how blue my b**** were giving for not releasing-she loved it and practically admitted it to me. I wish the inner sensations would simply stop because they can sometimes drive me absolutely crazy. Other times I am fine, but it doesn't take much for me to realize their reoccurring attention to my little but growing inability to release my approval with their actions. I may have confessed this before but cannot remember. Why don't they just say what they are really feeling for my benefit and theirs? Fearful they will lose their jobs or something, but I see right through their private conversations and humiliation towards me, pitifully yet amused behind their smiles-go figure no abuse history in my life or anything, just childhood thoughts and behavior prior to an accident that left me in this physical condition. Despite the confession I do really well most of the time, God knows