To being sexually addicted to gay sex and drugs

I've Been Keeping a Secret For 44 Years I’ve been keeping for 44 years. Lately it’s been bothering me and this is my first step in letting this secret be known. I’m a 49 year old male and I’ve never told another living soul what I’m about to write. Today I also plan to tell my wife. When I was five years old (1966), I was in the hospital for a hernia operation. That first night in the hospital room I was given an injection which made me very weak and almost paralyzed. Later a man entered the room and raped me. This rape was violent enough that he ripped my a*** and bloodied my nose when he forced my face into the bed. The memories of this are still crystal clear in my mind. After he raped me, he held me forcefully by the back of my neck and put his lips to my ear and told me that if I ever told anyone he would have to kill my mother and father. Then he asked me if I wanted them to die, of course I didn’t. He left me and sometime later, I regained enough strength to crawl far enough up on the bed to press a button to call a nurse. When the nurse didn’t come I kept pressing and pressing it until she did. When she eventually came into the room, from her reaction I could tell she was shocked by what she saw. She left and brought other nurses. My hands and pillow were covered in blood. One nurse kept asking “who did this to you?, who did this to you?”, but of course I didn’t know, I never even saw his face. They washed me and changed the sheets on the bed. They spent a lot of time washing me and examining my backside. Nothing was ever said to my parents. While I honestly didn’t understand what had happened to me at the time, I knew it was something bad, I followed the instructions of the rapist and I never told my parents. I think back and wonder why the nurses, as adults, didn’t tell my parents. Did they fear losing their jobs? Did they fear a lawsuit? I suppose I’ll never know. The surgery the next morning went as scheduled. The pain of the torn a*** was far greater than that of the hernia operation and I couldn’t sit without a lot of pain for weeks afterward but I still never said a word. When I was well enough to play outdoors I can remember the physical pain as a result of the rape lasted far longer than that of the operation. As I got older I fully understood what happened to me that night. I still never told anyone because I was too embarrassed. No young male wants to tell people the time he was anally raped. Then when I became an adult I still never told anyone, I just never had a reason to talk about it and I suppose I didn't want to burden others with my misfortune. Sometimes, I still have nightmares of being held by the back of the neck by the rapist and I hear him telling me he would have to kill my parents if I tell anyone. Here it is 44 years later and I’m still reliving that night. Today, I took the afternoon off from work because it was a beautiful day and as I drove home from work, I found myself thinking about that night with tears streaming down my cheeks. I suddenly realized that 44 years later I’ve still been following the instructions of the rapist. Well it's time to stop, seconds from now when I press the confess button and post this story, I’m not following his instructions anymore.

I've Been Keeping a Secret For 44 Years I’ve been keeping for 44 years. Lately it’s been bothering m...

One night She was ruined by the many. The lack of love. The use and abuse. The forgotten one, so easily thrown away like a used prophylactic. Looking for affection and coming up short. S** becomes loveless. One night stands though she wants so much more. But that’s as long as they want her. This is something she can’t change. Just like she couldn’t change the fact her father never wanted her. Or the way she will never be able to change the disdain her stepdad held for all those years after the one night she tries so hard to repress from when she was six. Turning to all the wrong places. Trying to escape. They created a floozy. A junkie. And they blame her and her alone. She began her journey into adulthood innocent. Unexperienced. She had only ever kissed the lips of the single boyfriend she’d had, who was now the reason for her pain. He gave her a glimpse of this thing she was so curious of, then tore it out from under her after no time at all. Reason number two came flying in on his white horse. She had never felt this before. The things he said, she had never heard aimed her way before. After one passionate night, he began to withdraw. More and more were her desperate attempts of communication ignored. Until she realized she had been dooped. You think by now she would have learnt. Number three was a surprise. A new acquaintances, sharing a moment in time over the sweet scent of smoked herbs. A kiss. A touch. And that was that. She didn’t want more, only friendship. To not be forgotten. Once again, the sting of silence bit her hard. Four was only slightly different. She reached a point of such frustration she gave herself up to a man she had no intention for. The first one to ask. With intentions clear from the beginning, they were there for s**, and s** alone. His cold shoulder hurt as much just as the others. His constant words of friendship and understanding disappeared and were replaced by momentary conversations, offcourse only when he wanted something from her. She was beginning to understand. After one night she was she useless, a waste of time and space in their eyes. Tossed aside and forgotten was a scenario all too familiar. This realization left her numb. Rhys felt different. But she knew better than to let her hopes rise higher than reality. They f*****. He kissed her goodbye. She let herself hope for something more, even if all that meant was a second night of pure intercourse. His disregard penetrated her heavy heart, sending her over the edge to a place of no return. S** has lost all meaning. Men want nothing but one night of pleasure. All men. She feels like a ruined woman at the age of eighteen. A loveless and unlovable fool. Used and unwanted. She rids her life of the people who treat her less than she deserves, knowing she will be alone forever. Knowing she will have to find affection in any place she can. She’s always loved the sensation drugs give her. But now they feel like they may be able to replace the lack of affection. Like they may be able to take away the sting of rejection. Who knows where this will take her. WHY AM I ONLY GOOD FOR ONE NIGHT?

One night She was ruined by the many. The lack of love. The use and abuse. The forgotten one, so eas...

I once slept with 3 girls in one day! I once slept with 3 girls in one day! The worst thing was the last two were just booty calls so i had a*** s** with the second one and then when the third came around i made her give me head. I hadn't even showered or cleaned up. In a way I enjoyed this, but I feel kinda bad.

I once slept with 3 girls in one day! I once slept with 3 girls in one day! The worst thing was the ...