I use to watch many incest videos when I was 18 one day I was on drugs and I attempted to have sex with mom but she pushed me back . next day I felt so embarrassing . I deeply regret. Some times it even kills me mentally. What to do?

I use to watch many incest videos when I was 18 one day I was on drugs and I attempted to have sex with mom but she pushed me back . next day I felt so embarrassing . I deeply regret. Some times it even kills me mentally. What to do?
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