i am 28 and did not have sex until last month.

i am 28 and did not have sex until last month. yes, i touched my exgirlfriends and kissed them. but now i am so upset. it hurts me so much! premarriage adultery... i was single 1 month ago and havent date any girl for so long time, almost 4 years, because i feel that i have responsibilities. now, i have a girlfriend and she told me that she had sex so many times, having sex is not important for her... anyway. somehow, i used to go her home everyday :( i dont want to have sex with her becuase i feel so bad! my psychology is going down, i can not get rid of that situation. sex is nice for just some minutes... but it really destructs human psychology. i believe that. please god, forgive me, a few years ago, i prayed "please god dont allow me to have sex without marriage! i wanna have sex with just my wife..." but i can see that my pray was not accepted :( i still ask for forgivness!!! please!