I cheated 9 years ago

a month after i got married, i strayed one time. when it was over, i was so ridden with guilt that i developed an ulcer and heartbeat irregularities that required a doctor's care. ever since, i've been miserable and completely regret my actions... i want to tell my wife, but know that this would destroy my marriage if my wife found out even now.
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He didn't even realize I was going through some pictures on my husbands phone last night after a family weekend at the lake and seeing if there were any pictures on his phone i wanted when i stumbled across a picture of my younger sister climbing up the ladder onto my parents pontoon boat. Somehow i got ripped off in the b*** department and she got all of it, I am a B and she is a DD, She has always been very confident and wears pretty small bikinis and apparently the one she had on that day was unable to contain her b**** as she climbed up out of the water. I thought it was an intentional picture he took of her and got angry, handed him the phone and said "WTF is this", He looked at the picture and his eyes got big as he stared at it and said "Um...I didn't take that picture". Of course i didn't believe him but he scrolled through the next dozen pictures and it became obvious it was one of the kids taking pictures with his phone, As he showed me the rest of the pictures then scrolled back to her it became obvious she wasn't even the focus of that picture but it was something else entirely. One of our kids was taking pictures of the rest of the kids on the tube behind the boat and my sister just happened to be coming out of the water at the wrong moment. So now looking back i maybe shouldn't have flew off the handle right away but i apologized to him and i'm sure he wasn't too upset that i made him look at a picture of my sisters b***.

He didn't even realize I was going through some pictures on my husbands phone last night after a fam...

I want a divorce It has reached the point that I need to divorce my wife. She is an alcoholic and it has ruined our lives, she has given up on wanting children and as her drinking has gotten worse I have come to realize that (even though she promised she would stop drinking if we had a kid) she will not be a good mother to any children we have. We have been fighting for the past several months. We have talked divorce over and over. And I have recently decided it is time to throw in the towel. Now I am not sure of my next steps. I have set no money aside for a lawyer or even filing fees. We are broke, like down to a pack of hot dogs and bread for the next few weeks as our debt has become insane. The last time that I even suggested that I agreed with her that we should divorce, she just attacked me over and over verbally, coming up with anything she could come up with to tear me down. She has physically abused me a few times. Not that I couldn't defend myself, but I'm not going to hit a woman and when it reaches that point, I just don't care anymore. It helps for closure the more she does it. I know that if I try to get a divorce and we are still living together, I will live in misery. We have no friends because she attacks anyone who comes close. I have slept in my truck many nights to get away. Money has gotten so bad that we are downsizing to a smaller house, but our main house has not yet rented so we have two mortgages. We cannot move into the smaller house for another month. At that point, at least there is an exit. I plan on going to Iraq to get a job to help pay for IRS bills since I had to cash out my retirement to help keep us afloat, which comes with heavy penalties. I will make decent money in Iraq but when we spoke about divorce before she has talked about dragging the divorce out for a year so that she could benefit from the money I make out there. If I had enough for a lawyer and a place to go, I would be out today. We are in a slow period of being cordial but those days have been getting shorter and fewer. The next time she hits the bottle it will not be pretty.

I want a divorce It has reached the point that I need to divorce my wife. She is an alcoholic and it...

We may be getting a divorce after she caught us I have a wonderful wife and we have been married for nine years now. She does not have the s** drive that I have, and I have a cousin who is in the same situation. My cousin and I have had s** since we were fourteen. We did not stop when she got married. We kept going two years later when I got married. Her husband and I are buddies and she has been friends with my wife. So that made it easy for my cousin and I to keep this going. My wife came home from work Yesterday when my cousin and I were in our motor home. I had no idea she had come home sick. She wondered where I was and why her car was in my shop parking lot. She opened the motor home door and heard us. She walked in softly and stood at the door watching. When I looked in the mirror I saw her standing there. I did NOT want to turn around, and my cousin as me what was wrong, why i stopped, than said come one i want a big one F--k me hard. That made a bad situation worse. She threw the coffee maker at us and walked out. I worried she might get a gun and shoot me or us, so I got dressed and in the house pretty quick. She was in the bathroom with the door open. My cousin went in and talked with her. She told her everything. That was had done this since we were young. that she and her husband had s** issues that made her want s**. But she did not want to damage our marriage. My wife was very calm for some reason. She talked with me calmly but she is far from happy. She slept in the guest room and ask if i wanted a divorce. I said no, and now she is wrestling with the idea is she wants to tell my cousins husband or not. Its pretty tough around here right now. and I fear what will happen if she tells him. He could snap and kill us all, or just leave town and my cousin alone with nothing. I remember all the s** that she and i have had, Not all of that combined is enough to make up for the fear I have of loosing my wife and my life. Loosing my cousin and her husband as our friends. Now we must sit through dinner tomorrow night, our usually week night dinner together. I am a dumbass for sure.

We may be getting a divorce after she caught us I have a wonderful wife and we have been married for...