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flert.....

AbuseStupidityBeing drunkSex
it happend a lot to me ... i flert with guys on msn or sms... we both know it will lead to SEX, but at the end i get cold feet and dont meet up with the guy... im too shy to do it... even if i r-e-a-l-y want the guy...
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let me start with im a 15 year old muslim girl from minnesota. my parents are divorced and my step dad is cheating my mom...i live with 9 other siblings who partically are over achievers..ever since i was in 7th seventh grade i started hating life, and the bullying made it worse..i finally got out of the hate filled school and started highschool..i go to an all muslim school, the majority of them hate because i wear jeans and not skirts.i didnt mind that because i cant blame them..but im also hated even more because i talk to boys, i really dont understand, im a slut because i talked to a guy? i had 2 bestfriends until one of them just stopped talking to me this year because she said im a weirdo and she doesnt want to be seen with me, the other is still my friend she is just too busy with her future..i just think me dying is one big decidsion. im already a terrible muslim for not praying 5 times a day and wearing jeans..im honestly not going any wear in life because my grades suck bad and i have no one to tell me i can do it. i always get the 'your stupid' treatment and noticed that its true.my family doesnt even give 2 fucks about me, they dont know my grades, they always call me stupid and fat im honestly done trying..im not worth living, i think it would make everything easy for me and everyone if i just die..i dont want to keep living a life of failure...i've tried everything and none helped.

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