And the end creeps closer.. My boyfriend of a year and a half is probably the most difficult person to be with. He has bipolar, and anxiety. hes a rageaholic. has intimacy issues. he takes things too seriously. and apparently doesn't know how to listen.. I love him. so very much. but lately it feels like we fight 99% of the time about stupid s***.. and the same stupid s*** over and over. honestly i feel im coming to my breaking point with him.. i dont want to leave him.. i really really dont.. but its like no matter what i say to him it never sinks in. i told him to make an important call on his day off.. and three days later he still hasnt.. i asked him to clean up n move the cat litter cuz a friend was coming over.. he cleaned around the box but never relocated it. he says time and time again that he doesnt want to fight and that he wants us both to feel happy again.. but he doesnt do anything to prevent the fights or to try and make me happy. you know im not a perfect gf.. i get overly jealous. im easily irritable. i dont like being ignored (but nobody does) and i dont like feeling like im second best to anyone or anything.. and alot of times i do. he always tells me its my own fault i feel like that cuz he doesnt put anyone above me. yet hes always talking to his female coworker.. always texting her. shes been over three times this f****** week to smoke with him.. one of which i was not informed of.. and although he kind of apologized, and swore it wont happen again, i'm sure it will. he very rarely keeps promises to me.. we were supposed to go to boston one day after he got a double paycheck.. we never did due to snow, and even if we did he had already spent his whole double check.. on anything but me. he done stuff like that. promise hes going to spend his taxes on something nice for me. and doesnt. u see the trend. Im not a high maintenance girl. ik he doesnt always have money, and i dont push to make him take me out on dates. im ok with date nights at home.. and i dont nag him to buy me flowers or cute gifts.. if he hands me his debit card n tells me to buy myself something, 99% of the time i just spend my own $. but i require alot of attention.. im still young, and s** is still fairly new to me.. so i want to have s**.. and he just doesnt. it feels like he never wants to.. and honestly it makes me feel bad about myself. makes me think that im too ugly. or too fat. or bad in bed.. he swears its not me. its his own problem.. but idk.. hes a guy isnt it supposed to be programed into his brain to want to have s** ALOT? (ik bad stereotype.. but seriously.. he should want it more then he gives it to me..) But no. he would rather play his stupid video games.. which is why i was set off to write in the first place.. we had an argument thursday.. friday i still hadnt recovered.. i didnt even want him to cuddle me.. which is BAD seeing as i am a HUGE cuddler.. then saturday he worked while i stayed home and after i went to get my friend so we could drink that night. we got really drunk.. and my bf got h****. tried talking my friend into a threesome with us (which i was ok with) but that never happened.. and today we took my friend home at 2.. came back and my bf went to sleep again.. and i stayed up on the laptop.. h**** the whole time.. The second he woke up he turned on his f****** ps3 and started playing skyrim.. which is one of his f****** games that he gets so into he forgets about me.. now i have work at 11 tonight n im not going to spend any f****** time with him, and he obviously doesnt give two s**** since he hasnt said a word to me since the game turned on, except for when i came up from the bathroom.. i wanted to have s** with him so bad all day.. and apparently his dumbass game is more important then satisfying his gf.. im tired of feeling second to a f****** video game.. idk how much longer i can take this..

I don't believe in God any more. Your religion turned me away from it. I've been raped, abused and came from a broken home and now I'm bipolar. Without my beliefs my sadness is never ending.

I don't believe in God any more. Your religion turned me away from it. I've been raped, abused and c...

Blasphemy

how i rate my men Emerald he has standards his looks draw women to him he already knows what women he desires�and he does not hesitate to snatch her up and purchase her with�marriage before another man does� he�always faithful to his women treats her like his best friend he always�buy's his women gifts he believe's�god's words�are truth and he tries to�never disobeys them and repents when he does he is only friends with other women Diamond he is attractive many people love him he likes to tell jokes he never cheats on his women he may put himself in flirting situations but�is never unfaithful to his women he treats his women good he is not abusive� he enjoys to date�many women and hanging out with them but he never cheats he is touchy feely�with other women but he does not cheat on his women when she is not around Gem he has standards he is beautiful he is spiritual� he is a little bit lower than men of gold he is passionate he is loving he is�considerate he loves animals he enjoys spending alone time with his women he is a joy to be around he falls in love easy he is very romantic with his women� he is always faithful to his women/girlfriend Silver he does not always have standards he does not like pets but he will tolerate them he will almost�cheat�but doesn't he puts himself in many situations to cheat but never does he enjoys�flirting�with other women but is never�unfaithful to his women he treats his women fairly but not like she is anything special he treats his women like a chick on the side he gets violent sometimes but always apologizes to his women he always mentally cheats with other women but never physically� he has his women in his�thoughts only sometimes he thinks about cheating alot�because he is not in love but he likes his women he has feelings for his women but does not love her trash he hates god and anything with rules he does not think that anyone deserves to be treated good but only him he will use drinking to feel better about himself� he will use drugs to feel better about himself but deep down inside he knows hes lost he enjoys being a bully� he hates pets unless he trains them to bite people he does not care about his women at all he only sees her as�pussy or a good fuck he enjoys abusing his women and cheating on them all the time he does not care about what he does to anyone he would even bully someone crippled but if someone treats him badly he ready to fight them he loves to hurt his women's feeling and make them cry he will tell his women that pain will make her stronger he does not care about anyone else's�feelings but his own he is a bully to everyone pretty or ugly he has no standards at all he follows no ones rules but his own he is trash so he treats people the same way he will even cheat on the women that he cheated on his women with and feel nothing at all he has no conscience and never helps anyone but himself� people most likely regret seeing his face and knowing that he�exist scum he will need to kill people in order to feel something because he does not belong to god so he needs to�hurt�someone to feel something or he needs to a kill life�in order to feel better about himself he will hurt anyone�around him and even cut himself until he bleeds and he will begain to think the pain helps him�because he has done so many evil things that gods,�presences�has left so he's�feeling void and alone he is a�reprobate synonyms:rogue,�rascal,�scoundrel,�miscreant,�good-for-nothing,�villain,�wretch,�rake,�degenerate,libertine,�debauchee;� informal,cad; archaicblackguard,�knave,�rapscallion "a hardened reprobate" reprobate mind� is found in�Romans 1:28�in reference to those whom God has rejected as godless and wicked. They �suppress the truth by their wickedness,� and it is upon these people that the wrath of God rests� he always has to treat people like shit in order to feel good about himself he would push an old person in a wheel chair�down the stairs just to feel something he will bully anyone to feel good about himself and he always hates himself he has never loved anyone not even himself or felt love he uses drinking, abusing people and getting drunk to fill his void he uses drugs and getting high to feel something but he doesn't know�that god is the only one who can make him feel what hes after no body likes him except for people who enjoys�violence he will rape, murder, steal, self harm and listen to music in order to try to feel some thing but cant because god has rejected him and he belongs to satan/demons now he never knew god who is his real father his creator he never asked his heavenly father for help to stop being scum, or to change�in anyway he never reads the bible he has sex with groupies, whores, sluts and any women that wants him but�always ends up feeling�empty inside�and unsatisfied so he uses�sex to try to fill the void void a completely empty space. "the black void of space" synonyms:�vacuum,�emptiness,�nothingness,�nullity, blankness,�vacuity;� empty space,�blank space,space,�gap,�cavity,�chasm,�abyss,�gulf,�pit,�black hole "the void of space" but he does not know the reason that he feels that way is not because he needs more sex its because he needs god to�change his life 1 John 4:8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. Matthew 19:26� When the disciples heard this they were greatly astonished and asked, �Who then can be saved?��26�Jesus�looked at them�and said,�With�man�this�is�impossible,�but�with�God�all things are�possible.�� Jeffrey Dahmer's Story of Faith A prison minister who led the mass-murderer to Jesus tells the story Ratcliff says he became convinced of Dahmer's sincerity during seven months of prison visits. "I feel very, very bad about the crimes I've committed," Dahmer told Ratcliff. "In fact, I think I should have been put to death by the state for what I did." A fellow inmate killed Dahmer in 1994. 27�Look,� Peter replied, �we have left everything to follow You. What then will be for us? Heaven Revelation 21:4� He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.� John 14:2� In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? John 3:16� �For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. Matthew 6:19-21 �Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Revelation 21:18� The wall was built of jasper, while the city was pure gold, clear as glass. Revelation 21:27� But nothing unclean will ever enter it, nor anyone who does what is detestable or false, but only those who are written in the Lamb's book of life. Psalm 14:1-4 To the choirmaster. Of David. The fool says in his heart, �There is no God.� They are corrupt, they do abominable deeds, there is none who does good. The�Lord�looks down from heaven on the children of man, to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God. They have all turned aside; together they have become corrupt; there is none who does good, not even one. Have they no knowledge, all the evildoers who eat up my people as they eat bread and do not call upon the Lord? 1 Peter 3:21-22� Baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you, not as a removal of dirt from the body but as an appeal to God for a good conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, with angels, authorities, and powers having been subjected to him. �For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, �Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.� the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For �everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.� and as for me I'd rather have Jesus than silver and gold No fame or fortune Nor riches untold I'd rather have Jesus than silver and gold Don't give me a mansion on top of the hill Don't give me the world with a shallow thrill But just give me a saviour My life He can hold I'd rather have Jesus than silver and gold I woke up this morning Feeling kind of down I called on my best friend She could not be found But I called on Jesus My life He can hold I'd rather have Jesus than silver and gold I'd rather have Jesus For there's no other name given under heaven Whereby we must be saved I'd rather have Jesus He's the only one that can save I'd rather have Jesus than silver and gold Emerald he has standards his looks draw women to him he already knows what women he desires�and he does not hesitate to snatch her up and purchase her with�marriage before another man does� he�always faithful to his women treats her like his best friend he always�buy's his women gifts he believe's�god's words�are truth and he tries to�never disobeys them and repents when he does he is only friends with other women Diamond he is attractive many people love him he likes to tell jokes he never cheats on his women he may put himself in flirting situations but�is never unfaithful to his women he treats his women good he is not abusive� he enjoys to date�many women and hanging out with them but he never cheats he is touchy feely�with other women but he does not cheat on his women when she is not around Gem he has standards he is beautiful he is spiritual� he is a little bit lower than men of gold he is passionate he is loving he is�considerate he loves animals he enjoys spending alone time with his women he is a joy to be around he falls in love easy he is very romantic with his women� he is always faithful to his women/girlfriend Silver he does not always have standards he does not like pets but he will tolerate them he will almost�cheat�but doesn't he puts himself in many situations to cheat but never does he enjoys�flirting�with other women but is never�unfaithful to his women he treats his women fairly but not like she is anything special he treats his women like a chick on the side he gets violent sometimes but always apologizes to his women he always mentally cheats with other women but never physically� he has his women in his�thoughts only sometimes he thinks about cheating alot�because he is not in love but he likes his women he has feelings for his women but does not love her trash he hates god and anything with rules he does not think that anyone deserves to be treated good but only him he will use drinking to feel better about himself� he will use drugs to feel better about himself but deep down inside he knows hes lost he enjoys being a bully� he hates pets unless he trains them to bite people he does not care about his women at all he only sees her as�pussy or a good fuck he enjoys abusing his women and cheating on them all the time he does not care about what he does to anyone he would even bully someone crippled but if someone treats him badly he ready to fight them he loves to hurt his women's feeling and make them cry he will tell his women that pain will make her stronger he does not care about anyone else's�feelings but his own he is a bully to everyone pretty or ugly he has no standards at all he follows no ones rules but his own he is trash so he treats people the same way he will even cheat on the women that he cheated on his women with and feel nothing at all he has no conscience and never helps anyone but himself� people most likely regret seeing his face and knowing that he�exist scum he will need to kill people in order to feel something because he does not belong to god so he needs to�hurt�someone to feel something or he needs to a kill life�in order to feel better about himself he will hurt anyone�around him and even cut himself until he bleeds and he will begain to think the pain helps him�because he has done so many evil things that gods,�presences�has left so he's�feeling void and alone he is a�reprobate synonyms:rogue,�rascal,�scoundrel,�miscreant,�good-for-nothing,�villain,�wretch,�rake,�degenerate,libertine,�debauchee;� informal,cad; archaicblackguard,�knave,�rapscallion "a hardened reprobate" reprobate mind� is found in�Romans 1:28�in reference to those whom God has rejected as godless and wicked. They �suppress the truth by their wickedness,� and it is upon these people that the wrath of God rests� he always has to treat people like shit in order to feel good about himself he would push an old person in a wheel chair�down the stairs just to feel something he will bully anyone to feel good about himself and he always hates himself he has never loved anyone not even himself or felt love he uses drinking, abusing people and getting drunk to fill his void he uses drugs and getting high to feel something but he doesn't know�that god is the only one who can make him feel what hes after no body likes him except for people who enjoys�violence he will rape, murder, steal, self harm and listen to music in order to try to feel some thing but cant because god has rejected him and he belongs to satan/demons now he never knew god who is his real father his creator he never asked his heavenly father for help to stop being scum, or to change�in anyway he never reads the bible he has sex with groupies, whores, sluts and any women that wants him but�always ends up feeling�empty inside�and unsatisfied so he uses�sex to try to fill the void void a completely empty space. "the black void of space" synonyms:�vacuum,�emptiness,�nothingness,�nullity, blankness,�vacuity;� empty space,�blank space,space,�gap,�cavity,�chasm,�abyss,�gulf,�pit,�black hole "the void of space" but he does not know the reason that he feels that way is not because he needs more sex its because he needs god to�change his life 1 John 4:8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. Matthew 19:26� When the disciples heard this they were greatly astonished and asked, �Who then can be saved?��26�Jesus�looked at them�and said,�With�man�this�is�impossible,�but�with�God�all things are�possible.�� Jeffrey Dahmer's Story of Faith A prison minister who led the mass-murderer to Jesus tells the story Ratcliff says he became convinced of Dahmer's sincerity during seven months of prison visits. "I feel very, very bad about the crimes I've committed," Dahmer told Ratcliff. "In fact, I think I should have been put to death by the state for what I did." A fellow inmate killed Dahmer in 1994. 27�Look,� Peter replied, �we have left everything to follow You. What then will be for us? Heaven Revelation 21:4� He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.� John 14:2� In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? John 3:16� �For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. Matthew 6:19-21 �Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Revelation 21:18� The wall was built of jasper, while the city was pure gold, clear as glass. Revelation 21:27� But nothing unclean will ever enter it, nor anyone who does what is detestable or false, but only those who are written in the Lamb's book of life. Psalm 14:1-4 To the choirmaster. Of David. The fool says in his heart, �There is no God.� They are corrupt, they do abominable deeds, there is none who does good. The�Lord�looks down from heaven on the children of man, to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God. They have all turned aside; together they have become corrupt; there is none who does good, not even one. Have they no knowledge, all the evildoers who eat up my people as they eat bread and do not call upon the Lord? 1 Peter 3:21-22� Baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you, not as a removal of dirt from the body but as an appeal to God for a good conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, with angels, authorities, and powers having been subjected to him. �For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, �Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.� the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For �everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.�

how i rate my men Emerald he has standards his looks draw women to him he already knows what women...

Blasphemy

I spoke to her and she knows who I am. we spoke on the phone and I know she is part of that group and she said we will talk again. I am sure we will. one day when I can we will talk again and it will be interesting to see what the outcomes were when you left and I left after you. I seen you get so mad and run out the door and your daughter was angry at you but I can see why now that things were said. but I still want to know more. I hope one day you will tell me. I don't want to pry its not my place to be so bold but if you ever needed to talk I would be interested to know. sure.

I spoke to her and she knows who I am. we spoke on the phone and I know she is part of that group an...

Pride Blasphemy

More from 'Blasphemy' category

I don't believe in God any more. Your religion turned me away from it. I've been raped, abused and came from a broken home and now I'm bipolar. Without my beliefs my sadness is never ending.