I'm a jerk to my ex's

It's just... not enough... I fooled around with this guy the other night. He invited me over to "watch a movie" and pounced me right away. It started out poorly... he was only kissing half of my mouth... he tasted like an ashtray as well... I was too embarrassed to stop him... even though he was throwing me all over the bed as if I was some dirty sheets he was trying to air out. Then we started getting undressed and I started thinking... okay this HAS to be better. And then... I see it... It's no bigger than my pinky... with like a lump of skin not even b**** attached. I had to stop myself from asking "Where is the rest of it!" Lets just say from there on out... it's bad... really bad... I feel bad because he's already talking about the future and what comes next... and I'm just ready to run... There isn't anything worth saving there either. Nothing really spectacular to save as far as a relationship... yet I feel guilty... He was just so cocky... How can he not know it's too small?! I have to say something... right?

It's just... not enough... I fooled around with this guy the other night. He invited me over to "wat...

I'm just so confused and hurt! I was talking with my brother, aunt and mom about how my parents were in Germany before they came to America and stuff and my mom said something that caught my attention. I asked her to repeat it, and she didn't even say it again. instead my brother told me. He said that I could've had a second older brother, but my parents had him aborted. What confuses me is why they couldn't have waited for a few more months and let him live. Maybe they could have given him for adoption at least. I'm also really hurt because NO ONE HAS EVER TOLD ME THIS!!! It's like they didn't want me to find out. Also, I remember my parents always saying that their relatives wanted them to abort me when I was a fetus. Why did they decide to keep me instead of my could-have-been older brother? I know a lot of secrets here are claimed to be "fake" but this happened literally this morning.... I just don't know what to do. My mom says it's her deepest regret, but I don't know how to forgive her. I could've had a second brother for crying out loud! (I'm only 16, but I still believe that everyone should have a chance at living). I'm just really hurt at this new discovery because my own PARENTS didn't even tell me. My brother had to. And everyone was so nonchalant about it two seconds after it sank in. Just... any advice on how to cope would help a lot. Thanks for reading, I guess....

I'm just so confused and hurt! I was talking with my brother, aunt and mom about how my parents were...

In love but not corresponded i like this guy so so so so much so much that i cant stop thinking about him, hes the only thing in my mind, he�s JUST my friend, i emphesieze on the just, because he has told me clearly and shown that�s all we�ll ever be, ive met him for like a few months just after i broke up with my boyfriend who i dont care about emotionaly anymore, i care about this new guy, not so new but any way , he and i have become mora than friends but not a couple, friends with benefits, and this has been going on for a month. Ive only been with only one guy in my whole life, and it isnt that long cause im 18, and for me the moments we spend together naked or having sex or just talking, are special and importante to me, and it isnt just sex, its making love, the first time it happend i was shaking, because it ment so much, but he doesnt want to be my boyfriend, he told me that he cant get emotionally involved, after sex, the first time, not exactly after but a little after, i know it sounds stupid but, i thought that if i did it hed see me like his girlfriend, but it didnt happen, he just sees me like a friend, and not a special one u.u and i know that i should tell him how i feel about him but i cant its not that easy, i tried once but didnt succed, when i was going to tell him, i wanted to talk and just hang around, so we were talking and hes about to kiss me and like always i get nervous, i know, i know, how can i get nervous of a kiss, when we have already had sex, but going back to what i was sayng, i was nervous and he noticed so, he asked me if i felt butterflies and i said yes, and he said, that, that was bad, and that he hasnt felt butterflies or all those stuff for someone for a long time; so well he doesnt feel that way for me, we go to the same school in the same class room and he used to talk to me when i was alone, and get near me and stuff, but now he doesnt that much at all so he just comes to my house on sundays and we have sex, and we cuddle, and he used to say lovely things to me but now he doesnt and all i feel like doing is cry, because he doesnt notice me amd im not special or importante for him, he doesnt even look at me at all in school, i feel so stupid for liking him so much, i want to cry all the time, but that wouldnt help in the anything i feel bad because i got intamete with this guy who obviosely doesnt care about me like i do, i had sex with a guy, hes the second guy i have sex with, since my boyfriend, and im the fourth girl hes been with, im noy importante, just another girl. Like in romeo and juliet where romeo is asked by benvolio that if hes inlove, and he says out, and benvolio sayed out of love? and romeo says he loves someone who doesnt love him. i just dont know what to do, should i suck it up and get over him? or should i suck it up and tell him? and if i tell him, how? by person or by facebook? i just dont know im so afraid, maybe i should tell him by person, infront of him im just so afraid of being rejected and him going away from me. I love but I will not be responding to one more thing he does or says.

In love but not corresponded i like this guy so so so so much so much that i cant stop thinking ab...