I'm a jerk to my ex's

In love but not corresponded i like this guy so so so so much so much that i cant stop thinking about him, hes the only thing in my mind, he�s JUST my friend, i emphesieze on the just, because he has told me clearly and shown that�s all we�ll ever be, ive met him for like a few months just after i broke up with my boyfriend who i dont care about emotionaly anymore, i care about this new guy, not so new but any way , he and i have become mora than friends but not a couple, friends with benefits, and this has been going on for a month. Ive only been with only one guy in my whole life, and it isnt that long cause im 18, and for me the moments we spend together naked or having sex or just talking, are special and importante to me, and it isnt just sex, its making love, the first time it happend i was shaking, because it ment so much, but he doesnt want to be my boyfriend, he told me that he cant get emotionally involved, after sex, the first time, not exactly after but a little after, i know it sounds stupid but, i thought that if i did it hed see me like his girlfriend, but it didnt happen, he just sees me like a friend, and not a special one u.u and i know that i should tell him how i feel about him but i cant its not that easy, i tried once but didnt succed, when i was going to tell him, i wanted to talk and just hang around, so we were talking and hes about to kiss me and like always i get nervous, i know, i know, how can i get nervous of a kiss, when we have already had sex, but going back to what i was sayng, i was nervous and he noticed so, he asked me if i felt butterflies and i said yes, and he said, that, that was bad, and that he hasnt felt butterflies or all those stuff for someone for a long time; so well he doesnt feel that way for me, we go to the same school in the same class room and he used to talk to me when i was alone, and get near me and stuff, but now he doesnt that much at all so he just comes to my house on sundays and we have sex, and we cuddle, and he used to say lovely things to me but now he doesnt and all i feel like doing is cry, because he doesnt notice me amd im not special or importante for him, he doesnt even look at me at all in school, i feel so stupid for liking him so much, i want to cry all the time, but that wouldnt help in the anything i feel bad because i got intamete with this guy who obviosely doesnt care about me like i do, i had sex with a guy, hes the second guy i have sex with, since my boyfriend, and im the fourth girl hes been with, im noy importante, just another girl. Like in romeo and juliet where romeo is asked by benvolio that if hes inlove, and he says out, and benvolio sayed out of love? and romeo says he loves someone who doesnt love him. i just dont know what to do, should i suck it up and get over him? or should i suck it up and tell him? and if i tell him, how? by person or by facebook? i just dont know im so afraid, maybe i should tell him by person, infront of him im just so afraid of being rejected and him going away from me. I love but I will not be responding to one more thing he does or says.

In love but not corresponded i like this guy so so so so much so much that i cant stop thinking ab...

Missin you sucks UGH need you, want you, dom just come back, you said you wish there was one girl to show you there not all the same UHM HELLO..RIGHT HERE, you just don't notice cause you moved...you dont even talk to me online

Missin you sucks UGH need you, want you, dom just come back, you said you wish there was one girl to...

I wish i would have said something to you, I wanted you so bad like everything else i waste my chances i should have just asked you, well we have left uni and i doubt i will see you again but i think about you all the time. Your the first girl i actaully really liked, I live with the words shoulda woulda coulda, are the last words of a fool, i so wish i had a second chance i'll do anything...jef

I wish i would have said something to you, I wanted you so bad like everything else i waste my chanc...