I am married and had a few kids. I have been going to the same gynecologist for several years but last year I had to get another one because she stopped practicing in my city. My new Doctor is a male. I wasn't sure how it would work out but I admit that I think he is amazing. He has shown me what I have been missing as I get off on men feeling me up all the time and fancy myself and love to show off as much as I can when my husband is around or not. he loves me doing this too and wants us to have a threesome. The first time I was a little nervous with him being a male gynecologist. But my nerves went away as he talked to me during my exam. My old Doctor never even spole to me while she was touching me. He talked to me and even complemented me on how well I was shaven to which he had a bite into and my husband enjoyed watching the show for him. The exam didn't take long as most of it was all in my mind as I am so impressed with myself with any man and I feel like my husband neglects me often but he was totally in love with the idea of a group gropeup, but we talked as he fingered me and it felt wonderful. especially when my husband joined in and it took a hour to get the waiting room suspicious, I have black long hair and my husband is black and we wear spooky show clothing gothwear. He kept asking how it felt and I told him and so my husband wanted to do more but last xmas i divorced him and now i go alone and its even likely to be better next smear test. He knew exactly were to touch and how much pressure to apply or so i thought til he grabbed me and pulled on my retum and had a smerk to himself at the size of my ass and tits and said "how many babies have you had? and when was your last again?" . he knew how to finger me. He had laser eyes and speak about him and said ""i think i can feel a babies head are you sure your not.., uhm" I even told him that I was likely to be and I had my first squirt all over him. The next visit is goodmorrow and I am so excited I have skyping about this several times thinking about it. I am going to make sure my pushy is completly smelly for him and unclean and poo'th for him. My husband will not be with me this time. He didn't like standing outside the door of the office last time and he demanded to come in for some action too .my gynecologist, is a old sucker of 80 by now and I just think all men want me and I love playing with them at 55 can you blame me? I am so hot and we all tell our stories at mothers club and have a giggle about all our docotors stories and laugh and gossip about all of them. we could be up for slander if someone else heard the things we say and make fun of these dumbo docs. of course he is gay.

I am married and had a few kids. I have been going to the same gynecologist for several years but last year I had to get another one because she stopped practicing in my city. My new Doctor is a male. I wasn't sure how it would work out but I admit that I think he is amazing. He has shown me what I have been missing as I get off on men feeling me up all the time and fancy myself and love to show off as much as I can when my husband is around or not. he loves me doing this too and wants us to have a threesome. The first time I was a little nervous with him being a male gynecologist. But my nerves went away as he talked to me during my exam. My old Doctor never even spole to me while she was touching me. He talked to me and even complemented me on how well I was shaven to which he had a bite into and my husband enjoyed watching the show for him. The exam didn't take long as most of it was all in my mind as I am so impressed with myself with any man and I feel like my husband neglects me often but he was totally in love with the idea of a group gropeup, but we talked as he fingered me and it felt wonderful. especially when my husband joined in and it took a hour to get the waiting room suspicious, I have black long hair and my husband is black and we wear spooky show clothing gothwear. He kept asking how it felt and I told him and so my husband wanted to do more but last xmas i divorced him and now i go alone and its even likely to be better next smear test. He knew exactly were to touch and how much pressure to apply or so i thought til he grabbed me and pulled on my retum and had a smerk to himself at the size of my ass and tits and said "how many babies have you had? and when was your last again?" . he knew how to finger me. He had laser eyes and speak about him and said ""i think i can feel a babies head are you sure your not.., uhm" I even told him that I was likely to be and I had my first squirt all over him. The next visit is goodmorrow and I am so excited I have skyping about this several times thinking about it. I am going to make sure my pushy is completly smelly for him and unclean and poo'th for him. My husband will not be with me this time. He didn't like standing outside the door of the office last time and he demanded to come in for some action too .my gynecologist, is a old sucker of 80 by now and I just think all men want me and I love playing with them at 55 can you blame me? I am so hot and we all tell our stories at mothers club and have a giggle about all our docotors stories and laugh and gossip about all of them. we could be up for slander if someone else heard the things we say and make fun of these dumbo docs. of course he is gay.
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I guess healthcare is overrated For the last 3 days, I've sat alone in my apartment. At first I'm tired, and sore after sleeping poorly. As the day goes on my eyes won't open all the way and feel heavy like my eyelids are iron sheets. I eat a bunch of food. My stomach hurts. I watch movies. I cry a bit. Curled up in bed. I sit around for awhile, Stare at the wall. No thoughts. and suddenly, I'm going to fix everything. It's all going to be ok. – So I google different subjects – for hours. My shoulders hurt. I can fix this. But I'm realizing more and more that I'm not ever going to be rid of this. A few months ago I saw my doctor about getting help with these mood swings. This has been going on for years now. For a few days I'm fine, then a week later I feel like I'm on ecstasy- I can do anything and I'm THE best. I spend money I can't afford to spend- I make crazy unobtainable plans for getting in shape and getting this all under control. That lasts maybe 4 days, 5 tops. Then I nose dive into the bitchiest, angriest, most pessimistic person you've ever met. I eat everything; an entire pizza, plus a liter of soda and chips and dip and chocolate and white cheddar popcorn. I feel satisfied afterward, but disgusting. I get on the treadmill, I take a shower. I feel a little better- slowly the cycle starts back up and I'm climbing that rollercoaster again. That's not normal, right? Doctor tells me "Well, It does sound like you might be bipolar, but let's try birth control to see if it balances out your hormones- that could be the problem" (-_- She says this because I mentioned that sometimes the mood swings coincide with PMS symptoms) I take the birth control for ~2.5 months, things only get worse. On top of everything else the birth control makes me feel like I'm in a fog and very fatigued. I start taking it at night instead, hoping to sleep through the symptoms but it doesn't help. I try emailing my doctor to ask about other options and she referrers me to her assistant who in turn refers me to the lifestyle and weight management clinic. WTF?! I mean I mentioned I want to lose some weight (like ~40 lbs) but I hardly think that's the main focus here? I scour my healthcare provider's website for mental health doctors. ALL of them require a referral by another doctor or other healthcare persons. I email my doctor again, she doesn't reply for 3 days, so I email again "Did you get my email?". No response so I call the office; she's busy. I email again and this time she finally replies with "You need to make an appointment if you want a quick response. I don't have time to answer every email" I quickly discontinue listing her as my Primary care physician and find a new doctor on the website. New doctor is friendly, and kind. I talk and she listens. She gives me some tests- blood and verbal, and says in her opinion it is likely that I have bipolar disorder or have a personality disorder but I would need to see a psychiatrist to confirm. I ask about my options. She refers me to mental health services dept. I call the number. They ask my symptoms. I explain, including an episode where I yelled at my boss the week before (thankfully I wasn't fired) and SHE LAUGHED AT ME (wtf…) she rattles off information about group therapy and a new referral to a different doctor's office but says she must go because she has another appointment but that my appointment is scheduled for about 3 months away. I will not be able to see a psychiatrist for nearly 3 months. WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING Let's just say that I snap, right? Go totally bonkers and lose my job, my apartment etc. How in the hell would I ever be able to do ANY of this and keep any of it straight if I go totally off the rails? It happens all the time– Someone is barley managing their symptoms until one day they break and hurt someone or something. How would a schizophrenic person do any of this? Would they have to hurt someone or damage property to get proper healthcare??? What magic words do I need to say to get help? Avada kedavra??? Do have to be suicidal to get their attention? (I'm not, by the way.) I mean, ok, I'm not dying. I don't have a terminal illness. But doesn't *quality* of life count for anything? I haven't gone on a date in 7 years. I have only a handful of distant friends. My family likes me ok but we fundamentally disagree on 95% of our world views. And yes, I will eventually get to speak with the psychiatrist. But what am I supposed to do in the meantime? Hope things will go ok? I mean ffs. I'm just saying how the !@#$ are people who have mental illnesses supposed to jump through all these hoops when the only thing I want is to feel better? ugh… idk… halp…

I guess healthcare is overrated For the last 3 days, I've sat alone in my apartment. At first I'm ...