I'm only still alive for my little brother and little sister. I don't want them to live with leftover thoughts of me.

I'm only still alive for my little brother and little sister. I don't want them to live with leftover thoughts of me.

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Its driving me nuts, today I have had fruit I had apple to sweeten the oats only no sugars, then lunch I had a slice of wholemeal bread and cucumbers and horseradish and a bit of cheese and banana on the side. we had a stupid chino from the dumb coffee machine I got and froth full cream milk. 1 nearly blew me away it was so strong. I like my coffee mild and like 1 every other day. I drank 2 x 750ml of water before lunch and after as well. and afternoon tea I had a cookie and tea. more exercise, then more study. then I later I had dinner - just baked veg brussel spouts and baby onions and carrot with sesame seeds and potato and sweet potato in jackets, a lamb burger with mint (I couldnt eat it all), then I had a peach in ginger and honey and forgot the yogurt and around 9pm I just wanted fruit again and a cup of tea and 2 small kiwi fruits that were really bitter, and I was near falling asleep and my ears were ringing and I just needed a sugar fix and had some coffee cookies with blueberry jam to liven me up. its actually hard in the process of trying to quit sugar I am weening off it and I have days where I don't want any chocolate and other days I will and that is the same with sugary things or carbs or cookies or fruit and I will want dairy foods more- which also have sugar in them.

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