I confess when I was around 5-6 I became sexually aware as a female and would touch myself. At around 8 my cousin and I would kiss and rub our vaginas together one summer. I used to sneak and watch porn in my parents bedroom at about 8-9 I made my brother watch and not tell anyone. My little brother I sucked on his penis like on the porn and then felt weird and stopped I remember him asking me to do it again. I got caught watching porn and got in trouble. Made my friend watch. Any sexual opportunity I wanted to take it from a very young age. I am really trying to figure out if there was a trigger what it could have been. I wonder sometimes if maybe I was molested as a child and don't remember but who knows. I just want to be at peace with it all. The scariest part to me is the fact that they might think about it as much as I do. Do they? I just want to be able to get my sleep back at night and my anxiety to reside. I hope by letting my deepest darkest secrets out it may set them free and let me be from now on.