I just got out the better of a contract today and want to celebrate. twilight clause.

i had a dream last night that a guy who had abused me was stalking around and looking in windows in our new house, and I didn't even care anymore.

i had a dream last night that a guy who had abused me was stalking around and looking in windows in ...

i am starting feel guilty over food all the time, like that dr berg makes you feel guilty about eating anything but 1 lettuce leaf for lunch and everyone who is overweight eats themselves to obesity - I don't think so some how. and bacon, I liked it as a child and I hate it now. it makes me want to vomit smelling it cooking let alone eating the shit. give me grains or fish anyday, my father is making me consider anorexia as a option with his piggery on gutsing down anying paleo and meat and shit that makes you want to vomit. my mum turned me off yogurt and that shit is made from baby cows stomach juices- and its not that fucking good for us as you think! and there are other ways of making yogurt. swilling bacon is still fat and I know I feel guilty about every bit of cholesterol reducing margarine or butter or fats of any kind, carbs and bread and sugars to the point I feel guilty about eating fruit and so what every thin person lives on 1 lettuce leaf all day not like fat people, I worked out exercising every day last year and not over eating and I still put on weight. so I just don't buy all this rubbish. I was eating jam years ago and still lose weight. if sarina russo had not fucked up my life and her brainwashing nazi concentration camp abuse I would have been still going to a weight loss clinic and working but she was so jealous of me! and always will be insanely jealous of me! can't help her heartless dog faced self russo dumb hilter whore. the spastics of the spastics her and joyce together they could be great leso lovers but.

i am starting feel guilty over food all the time, like that dr berg makes you feel guilty about eati...

I don't understand why I don't have more out of life because I am not a wasteful person and I am careful and avoid risks and go for a sure thing than a risk, and cautious by nature. if anything I should have got angry eariler in life and for some reason I didn't. I had the car accident and hit on the head and forgot things, and didn't waste myself in my youth to nightclubs and drugs and bad lifestyle and i don't understand people who smoke and drink alcohol. I never liked it myself. I only bum puffed a few smokes but couldn't breath it into my lungs without being sick or vomiting. I was never a big alcohol drinker only occasional drinking like special occasions once every few years and i just didn't enjoy it after a stomach bug never had it since. it is not nice. i only eat chocolate now and then, I can go months witout wanting it then get a craving same with cake or other things. i never crave fatty things. sometimes sweets but fruit is better then chocolate. I am sick of being made to feel guilty as if I ate myself to this or i gave myself illness when I enjoy exercise and I wanted to be working. I want a better life even now. and sick of being told step aside, pay your dues before you deserve love, at this rate i will never be worthy there will always be someone throwing their old baggage at me saying i need to suffer like them when maybe they need to learn to suffer it out like me. by the time I am worthy I will be too old to have a baby and I don't think that is fair, all the years I should have been working and I won't accept I had no skills, just like I won't accept my parents had no skills, I applied for a job last year for part time floristy assistant the lady told me she got 400plus applicants and does not have the time to go through them all just some part time shop assistance job around flowers and gift sets and chocolates. there is some system helping certain people lord over others and i want to know what the criteria is. I told a college I am dropping out of tafe because I can't cope with the stress and their bullying. i can't relate to their teaching and marking and personalities. its so amway ra-ra american hype over nothing.

I don't understand why I don't have more out of life because I am not a wasteful person and I am car...