希望下一世 我可以诚实面对我自己 踏实做好我自己 尽到我的家庭责任和社会责任 byebye byebye just say goodbye

so I have learnt some software systems for work etc and most of them never used, now there is all these new ones taking over in admin. I am so frustrated I have been doing Opera PMS and I sat the freakin exam 2 times and failed. Its a hard exam. My course teacher didn't provide us with a manual, oh, no, we had to go find it for ourselves. I just want easy exams. I am sick of complications. I have to take heaps of dam notes and you know what, probably never dam use the system ever in any job. I know most people who do courses never work in what they study. Its just murphy's rule. Life is laughing at you. PMS pre-mongr-syndrome! I got enough mongr in me to be a cop! you bringing it out in me every day when things don't go good for me. You want to be careful what monster you create in me! and that is a warning!

so I have learnt some software systems for work etc and most of them never used, now there is all th...

its an on going thing. it feels like persecution, that sounds dramatic I guess or paranoia but I have expereinced bullying and people felt the need to attack me and punish me over minor things and even a gang tried to kill me because we had a pedo in the family who is now dead, they took it out on me. I have told the support group at Al Annon about some of it not a lot. Its embarrasing and I was abused myself by him and so was my dad but all the same this gang of stalkers decided to attack me. sorry about my spelling. yes, I live in fear a lot. I don't know how to talk about it to people I know. they make out I over react. like hell I do. more like under-react. I see the wood for the trees don't worry! I keep records.I am not too prideful to tell either.

its an on going thing. it feels like persecution, that sounds dramatic I guess or paranoia but I hav...

she needs to listen more about the seriousness she passes off some things and I feel like a liar or imposter if only she seen the mess of the house and the clutter its not normal and It will only get worse. someone from lifeline over xmas told me to do that when I rang I told the man how my dad broke the pantry door and just kept drinking and let it hang til me and mum took it off. and he has about 12 empty sorbelene bottles he refuses to throw out and that is only a small part of it. I have to back to my doctor over the bladder pain as one gp said it could be a tumor causing this? it worries me and I am in pain and I think I need to make her understand the seriousness of some issues she is passing off like dads drinking and bullying and how his hoarding and my shopping addictions have to be dealt with. we never talk about that and the shame i feel over it or my weight. i have great plans and then great intentions that always go sour and the guilt trippers turn up to play in my head of "oh your so like this person then you know etc" and it doesn't help to just shoot the breeze when its a serious issue apart from the bullying. my fears are that we have had people break n entering and now my parents are going away and I feel afraid for the house to not be occupied but for me I am afraid to be here alone for break and enter fears and should i go or not or what? I can't trust anyone and fear someone breaking in when we are not there. there my issues right now. its all scattered over the place but I wrote them down and make a plan how to handle each thing.

she needs to listen more about the seriousness she passes off some things and I feel like a liar or ...