I am like a bird I eat seeds for breakfast some mornings.

I made a huge mistake falling for a doctor and a young police officer and this gym instructor and ambulance officer over the past few years and nothing ever happened sexually. This rarely or never get that far with me. I don't let myself believe in love much now days, for a long time. As I am getting older I don't want to share as much and if I won money or property or inherit I don't want to share a thing or marry to have a man take half of it and then I have no home to live. I just would rather if I did have a baby forget about marriage because that is for the special people, the anointed people, the beautiful people, the rich people etc. not for losers like me. I have to think of my own needs and make sure no man will take from me. its unlikely I will have a baby now I am too old to handle it probably lately its taking a lot to stay alive let alone the luxury of romance or career. I don't see a future for myself in much even after graduating from my diploma it means nothing to anyone. I would be crazy now to marry unless the guy was extra amazing and I don't think they exist anymore. I told a young cute guy with the calendars fireies to go sing to the birds i am not interested in naked man bs. in fact I just so wanted to be nasty to him and a complete bitch for every guy who has hurt me I thought he would make a good target and I often do that now, I did some shit to this black jerk yesterday who thought he was all that and a bag of cash (or whatever) but he wasn't hot to me or sorry but nope. after a few things you live and learn and I won't be fooled or moved emotionally now. I find a target and act nasty deliberately occasionally when I don't feel well because a lot of men did that to me or they just ignored me in the city a lot so I do that a lot, but some times there are guys who I could never do that to, like I seen this amputee young guy down the coast and was he sweet and nice looking. I came across a few surfers who were really nice young guys but they just look and smile so I do. I don't get carried away with them because they are way too young for me at 19 a bit too young. I don't want to share even if the guy had money of his own I don't know if it would be worth now. I don't want to be called a gold digger cuz that I aint. I would rather have got rich on my own or winnings or inheritance or work not through someone in marriage. I know my friend said its no one else's business if you find a younger man and you get on with him well don't listen to others. but young or old, with or without money is it worth it? I don't want to end up losing property. I could do with a young slave however if I did get rich. someone I could trust to clean things and move things for me. my wet dream is having a laundry of my own to wash in. I fantasize about sleep rarely sexual romance , whats the point anymore. see I have to talk myself out of it. I made a mistake giving my heart to way too many men and friends in the past and not going to so easily anymore. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dVnb8Dgyyk I made a huge mistake falling for a doctor and a young police officer and this gym instructor and ambulance officer over the past few years and nothing ever happened sexually. This rarely or never get that far with me. I tell myself now, "don't be fooled" after rick. I still run the other way when I see his name etc. sorry but that is life.

I made a huge mistake falling for a doctor and a young police officer and this gym instructor and am...

Men who have it all wrong about what women want annoy me. I don't like indian and african men who think women like them to go "hmmm" I agree we find it rude. Women find that sleaze bag and not everyone likes a shining day. We all different values even at college I talk to some of these foreigners and its boring and too draining to have to explain basic stuff in english. On line dating you really don't know who you are talking to at the end of the email or chat box. Its boring.

Men who have it all wrong about what women want annoy me. I don't like indian and african men who t...

Forgive me father I have sinned. I think I am in love with this girl that goes to my school.The problem is I am also a girl. I dreamed of her and when she walks out the classroom I looked at her a$$ and I feel like I want to spank that . I think I may be bisexual. Today I told her that I liked her and then I kissed her and she kissed me back. I dont know what to do. I want to be the best human being in the world..Forgive me father I have sinned. I think I am in love with this girl that goes to my school.The problem is I am also a girl. I dreamed of her and when she walks out the classroom I looked at her a$$ and I feel like I want to spank that . I think I may be bisexual. Today I told her that I liked her and then I kissed her and she kissed me back. I dont know what to do. I want to do all good things,help others,be positive,always want to do positive things and make others think like me and want to transform this world into a heavenly place.Forgive me father I have sinned. I think I am in love with this girl that goes to my school.The problem is I am also a girl. I dreamed of her and when she walks out the classroom I looked at her a$$ and I feel like I want to spank that . I think I may be bisexual. Today I told her that I liked her and then I kissed her and she kissed me back. I dont know what to do.

Forgive me father I have sinned. I think I am in love with this girl that goes to my school.The prob...