I am not happy with my life and am stuck in the proverbial downward spiral.. Im just not sure how low i am gonna go. I had a nervous breakdown last week and was gonna go to rehab for drinkin but convinced my fam and friends i was just stressin about work and stuff. I live with a man that treats me like a roller coaster, nice one day a d*** the next.. i don't even love him anymore. i just live here because i have nowhere else to go.. Been seeing an old friend on the side and afraid to get too attached cause i know how messed up i am right now. I just can't seem to get myself together.. it's 8 oclock.. im on my 4th beer getting ready for work.... i dont have the strength anymore to be as strong as i was when i was younger...