I don’t know,actually, I have a healthy body,families who love me,pretty good financial support from my parents, bosom friends,my college is not bad either,though I don’t like the site,seems all I need is romance,I want a boyfriend for real,but I don’t have a one yet or ever,that is exactly the reason why I became so emotional,so angry, and I blame everything on my parents,especially my mother,because she is ineloquent,and maybe the exact reason is because I know she loves me so much,and I can shout as loud as I can just to reduce my stupid pain in my heart,I’m so selfish,and the most selfish part is that I know my blames will hurt her,but I still did it or I still do it,all of these is all because I don’t have a boyfriend,and the reason why I’m angry and regret about it is because I had a chance once,but I just let it slipped,I said yes to a boy to accept his care,but not a real yes for being boyfriend and girlfriend in my understanding,but maybe it is for him,I don’t know,I wish he thought so,at least there would be a definition for our relationship,the thing is I told him to stop the day after the day I said yes, I heard he call it his 24-hour love affair,actually I liked him, but I just cared so much about others views,and I was scared,beacaus I never had a boyfriend before, I don’t know how to deal with it,with everything,I don’t know if I can call him my ex,for we have only 24h which happened nothing,so I guess I can’t,but I still said I had ex when others asked me,because I don’t wanna let them think I’m a weird person who had no experiences,I always wanted and tried or even pretend to be experienced,I want others look up me,oh forgive me please,